Fridays P&L: GBP 340.00
Fridays Booze: 8 pints of Stella Artois
Fridays Soundtrack: Music to kill time too
Friday saw the markets take another downward trend. Their was a brief rally during the week but I fail to see any reason why. Many analysts point out that the markets are trading at relatively low price earnings ratios, which is true but in the current global climate, a world where seemingly all the previous rules don't apply, these things are meaningless. The continuing rise in the price of gold and the somewhat crazy decision of the Swiss central bank to draw a fixed exchange rate are proof that the world is looking for any stability. America is seemingly trapped in a jobless stasis. There is no credible solution, all the politicians are concerned about are the next elections. The Fed has painted itself into a corner similar to the one it criticized Japan for although Americas corporate sector is hardly as paternal as that of Japan. Further quantitative easing will do little more than increase the debt burden. Europe is in an even worse situation, the imposed currency restrictions of the Euro are causing the inevitable pain to the weaker nations and it remains a matter of time before Germany has to admit it cant pay for all of Europe. From a traders perspective, taking a chance on high yielding Spanish or Italian debt seems a sure fire way to make money in the short-term. At this stage Greek debt is probably too close to default to take a chance on. The UK is also in an equally dire situation, the coalition seems unable to make any headway and is just happy to blame everything on the previous administration. The banking sector, previously models of corporate success seem hopelessly mired in failure, the NHS, which I personally owe a great deal to, is continuing to bleed money and is surrounded by inept management and unnecessary government tinkering. In short it is all very bleak.
My personal life continues to be problematic, I nearly pissed off the Stalker enough for her to leave me but as usual she decided to give me another chance. This is strange because I am not very pleasant and she has no sympathy for my medical condition so its not like she is giving me an easy ride. My health continues to be a little dodgy but after a recent CT scan the operator said he can't see any sign of cirrhosis although my Pancreas is still fucked, predictably my way of taking the good news was to have a few pints - I'll never learn. Predictably my mother took my repaired liver as a gift from God, due to my new found faith, although I am hardly devout and in no way worthy of any miracle. My mother was there three of the times I was diagnosed with cirrhosis so she hopes for the best.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Don't You Forget About Me - Simple Minds are two steps from the eighties revival circuit and yet at one point were absolutely huge. This song is always going to be known as the song from the Breakfast Club but its a great track on its own. I suppose I am a sucker for power chords and wearing your heart on your sleeve. In some ways I haven't changed since I was fourteen.
living For The City - Stevie Wonder is always great to listen to if you imagine yourself as a star in a blaxploitation movie, and this song is one of the best. I am always attracted to the countryside no matter which country I have lived in but can't shake the draw of urban living, the few times I have spent anytime in the country or jungle I have grown bored quite quickly.
The Chain - Fleetwood Mac in the middle of one of the most dysfunctional relationships in music during the recording of Rumors - is it any wonder I like this song. The lyric "If you don't love me now, we'll never love again", reminds me of the demands that the Stalker and especially the Lunatic placed upon me. I suppose I look at relationships the wrong way but I know I am selfish and arrogant neither of which are attractive qualities.
Pandora's Box - OMD and my eighties obsession. Apparently this song was inspired by Louise Brooks who featured heavily in the video. It seems to me to be about the need to escape the mundane life, something I feel empathy with. It is also a little about obsession.
Unfinished Sympathy - Massive Attack, I just like the way this song sounds. It reminds me of my brother for some reason although there are many things that remind me of him.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Monday, 12 September 2011
Sunday, 10 July 2011
Los Desperados
Fridays P&L: GBP 60.00
Fridays Booze: 2 bottles of Chatau Poujeaux 2000
Fridays Soundtrack: Music to think about your girlfriends to
Friday was a difficult day for me, there was volatility in the market I was concentrating on, The DAX30, but I missed all the main action dealing with issues with the Stalker. The Europeans raised interest rates but the UK was unable to match them as they know the economy is to weak to withstand it. There is more to this than is immediately apparent. The UK doesn't have the fear of inflation that our German friends do but they are little concerned with the effects of inflation on the ordinary people. I suspect that the primary concern of the UK government is the amount of money tied up in the assets that the Bank of England has received in the form of collateral from the banking sector that they still support despite the fact the banks themselves are possibly even more mismanaged than before. The banking lobby in the UK must be very strong.
One of the strangest results of the banking crisis, which nearly destroyed the country is that the banks, which were mismanaged by out of touch old school bankers are now all run by former heads of trading. What happened to establishing a modicum of control. The nature of traders is to take risk, If you don't you will last less than six months in any trading floor in the world. It's sort of the job.
The Stalker has returned although we are still edgy around each other. She and I are constantly fencing when we should be spending what little time we may have happily. In a further complication the Lunatic has contacted me and given me an ultimatum to marry her and I have also received further contact from another ex who is Thai and slightly mad also. I am not so worried about the Thai girl as she is flirting with becoming a muslim, she lived in Abu Dhabi for some time and she knows I would never have a serious relationship with a muslim. The Lunatic however is a different matter, deep down I remember her fondly and she has even said it wasn't her that tried to kill me.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Love Of My Life - Queen, the Lunatics favourite song. I suppose I have a soft spot for Freddie Mercury, even though the band always seemed to be deeply unfashionable. This song shows his powerful voice, but always reminds me of a party we had in her restaurant back in Indonesia. Good times. People who knew how to enjoy themselves.
I Don't Want To Lose You - A soft song from Tina Turner, Makes me think of all my serious relationships. Truth be told, all these girls are far too good for me. My father once said to me, "you know if you meet this fantastic woman, a really great girl - she is usually in love with some total asshole. Thats you".
Missing - One of my favourite songs from Everything But The Girl, The Stalker thinks this song appeals to me because of my over-dramatic personality. She may be right. When I am drunk, which is often, I like to listen to this "And I miss you, like the desert misses the rain" , all my significant relationships seem to involve this disturbing undercurrent of emotion. The Lunatic said she was completely changed and no longer felt so much for me - three phone calls later, each for several hours, and she issued her marriage demands. Just about the worst thing that could happen to me right now is for The Stalker and The Lunatic to get in contact. They both own property in Bali and in Jakarta so the last thing I want is for them to meet.
I'll Remember You - Not a huge fan of Madonna, I always got the impression she was trying too hard. I love this song mostly from the movie "With Honours". I watched this a few times, first time with The Lunatic when the homeless person died she said to me, "why do you want to be alone so much?". I hadn't realised that I did. Some things you can't learn in school.
Missing You - An eighties classic from John Waite - suits my self imposed sense of drama. I can spend a whole day listening to music like this. This song is all about how you feel when you stop seeing someone, usually its because she decided not to carry on the relationship - my specialty was behaving so badly no right minded woman would want to have anything to do with me.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Fridays Booze: 2 bottles of Chatau Poujeaux 2000
Fridays Soundtrack: Music to think about your girlfriends to
Friday was a difficult day for me, there was volatility in the market I was concentrating on, The DAX30, but I missed all the main action dealing with issues with the Stalker. The Europeans raised interest rates but the UK was unable to match them as they know the economy is to weak to withstand it. There is more to this than is immediately apparent. The UK doesn't have the fear of inflation that our German friends do but they are little concerned with the effects of inflation on the ordinary people. I suspect that the primary concern of the UK government is the amount of money tied up in the assets that the Bank of England has received in the form of collateral from the banking sector that they still support despite the fact the banks themselves are possibly even more mismanaged than before. The banking lobby in the UK must be very strong.
One of the strangest results of the banking crisis, which nearly destroyed the country is that the banks, which were mismanaged by out of touch old school bankers are now all run by former heads of trading. What happened to establishing a modicum of control. The nature of traders is to take risk, If you don't you will last less than six months in any trading floor in the world. It's sort of the job.
The Stalker has returned although we are still edgy around each other. She and I are constantly fencing when we should be spending what little time we may have happily. In a further complication the Lunatic has contacted me and given me an ultimatum to marry her and I have also received further contact from another ex who is Thai and slightly mad also. I am not so worried about the Thai girl as she is flirting with becoming a muslim, she lived in Abu Dhabi for some time and she knows I would never have a serious relationship with a muslim. The Lunatic however is a different matter, deep down I remember her fondly and she has even said it wasn't her that tried to kill me.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Love Of My Life - Queen, the Lunatics favourite song. I suppose I have a soft spot for Freddie Mercury, even though the band always seemed to be deeply unfashionable. This song shows his powerful voice, but always reminds me of a party we had in her restaurant back in Indonesia. Good times. People who knew how to enjoy themselves.
I Don't Want To Lose You - A soft song from Tina Turner, Makes me think of all my serious relationships. Truth be told, all these girls are far too good for me. My father once said to me, "you know if you meet this fantastic woman, a really great girl - she is usually in love with some total asshole. Thats you".
Missing - One of my favourite songs from Everything But The Girl, The Stalker thinks this song appeals to me because of my over-dramatic personality. She may be right. When I am drunk, which is often, I like to listen to this "And I miss you, like the desert misses the rain" , all my significant relationships seem to involve this disturbing undercurrent of emotion. The Lunatic said she was completely changed and no longer felt so much for me - three phone calls later, each for several hours, and she issued her marriage demands. Just about the worst thing that could happen to me right now is for The Stalker and The Lunatic to get in contact. They both own property in Bali and in Jakarta so the last thing I want is for them to meet.
I'll Remember You - Not a huge fan of Madonna, I always got the impression she was trying too hard. I love this song mostly from the movie "With Honours". I watched this a few times, first time with The Lunatic when the homeless person died she said to me, "why do you want to be alone so much?". I hadn't realised that I did. Some things you can't learn in school.
Missing You - An eighties classic from John Waite - suits my self imposed sense of drama. I can spend a whole day listening to music like this. This song is all about how you feel when you stop seeing someone, usually its because she decided not to carry on the relationship - my specialty was behaving so badly no right minded woman would want to have anything to do with me.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Saturday, 2 July 2011
Unforgiven
Today's P&L: GBP 160.00
Today's Booze: 1 bottle of Russian Standard Vodka
Today's Soundtrack: Music to forget the past to
A boring day, most Americans had left the office for the thanksgiving weekend and as usual when the Americans aren't in the market it sort of dies after half past two. I made a quick 169 on going long, (buying) the FTSE100 in the morning but it was the kind of day when I may as well not have bothered. Instead I was considering the current state of the markets. I am less bemused by the continuing rise of the stock markets, obviously the reason is the continuing low bond yields which make equities attractive. If I had the money I would take a punt on 2 year Irish debt. Greek bonds seem attractive but at this stage I wouldn't pick any up until yields were over 40% because default seems inevitable, no matter how much money the Germans throw at the situation. bond YTM, (yield to maturity), is inverse to the price so as the yield rises the price drops and the bonds tend to perform like an equity. when that happens its a pure risk trade so sometimes it pays off like in Indonesia in ninety seven and other times it fails like in Argentina and before that Russia. The economy of America is frustrating. The woefully inept Bernanke announced an end to quantitative easing but this was followed up by the Fed announcing it will buy up to three hundred billion dollars of debt issued by the fed! The US debt situation is becoming comical.
I haven't posted for a while because I have been in hospital on and off. I shall be going back in at the end of July again - things don't look too good for me but who knows I feel ok more or less so I am not too worried right now.
The stalker finally seems to have had enough of me and I guess the most recent break up was inevitable. Of course I am sad about this but, to be honest, I am not what she needs in her life. She can't change me no matter how much she tries. I was considering this because I suppose I met her about twenty years ago and I have been in touch with the lunatic as well who I last saw twelve years ago. Both these women have matured and grown up in that time, it seems I have not.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Undercover Of The Night - The Rolling Stones. Much criticized but I still love them. Tropical music for dangerous places. I have been to a few of those, the odd thing is I actively seem to seek out the worst places wherever I am.
Some Like It Hot - At heart I am still an eighties boy. The Power Station were much underrated. The two boys from Duran played some great guitar and bass and Tony Thompson on the drums, RIP Tony. Robert Palmer adds some sheen to the act, this is a good song and a great one to get drunk to.
In The Evening - Led Zep. This is the first track of the much unloved in through the out door record. At this stage Led Zeppelin were literally falling apart. The enormous success they had enjoyed was killing them. A good anecdote is when they about to perform a show and Elvis finished his set and introduced them saying "I know who your all here to see" because he was aware that for every one record he sold they sold three. At the time this was recorded Bonham was close to death and a shadow of his former self. Page was addicted to heroin and Plant was still grieving over the death of his son. This is still a great song though with a crushing guitar riff from Jimmy Page.
Only You Can Rock Me - UFO, a somewhat forgotten hard rock band from the early eighties. I saw this band live when I was about twelve. Life seemed so much easier back then, mind you its not like my life has been a struggle since then. The only person that has made things difficult for me is me.
Shine On You Crazy Diamond - The Floyd. This song is very evocative but also, for me, quite sad. It is about the founding member who went a bit mad after taking far too many drugs. Its sort of crazy to think he was out of the band before they started to enjoy their stadium rock success. I am someone who identifies with self-destructive behaviour.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Today's Booze: 1 bottle of Russian Standard Vodka
Today's Soundtrack: Music to forget the past to
A boring day, most Americans had left the office for the thanksgiving weekend and as usual when the Americans aren't in the market it sort of dies after half past two. I made a quick 169 on going long, (buying) the FTSE100 in the morning but it was the kind of day when I may as well not have bothered. Instead I was considering the current state of the markets. I am less bemused by the continuing rise of the stock markets, obviously the reason is the continuing low bond yields which make equities attractive. If I had the money I would take a punt on 2 year Irish debt. Greek bonds seem attractive but at this stage I wouldn't pick any up until yields were over 40% because default seems inevitable, no matter how much money the Germans throw at the situation. bond YTM, (yield to maturity), is inverse to the price so as the yield rises the price drops and the bonds tend to perform like an equity. when that happens its a pure risk trade so sometimes it pays off like in Indonesia in ninety seven and other times it fails like in Argentina and before that Russia. The economy of America is frustrating. The woefully inept Bernanke announced an end to quantitative easing but this was followed up by the Fed announcing it will buy up to three hundred billion dollars of debt issued by the fed! The US debt situation is becoming comical.
I haven't posted for a while because I have been in hospital on and off. I shall be going back in at the end of July again - things don't look too good for me but who knows I feel ok more or less so I am not too worried right now.
The stalker finally seems to have had enough of me and I guess the most recent break up was inevitable. Of course I am sad about this but, to be honest, I am not what she needs in her life. She can't change me no matter how much she tries. I was considering this because I suppose I met her about twenty years ago and I have been in touch with the lunatic as well who I last saw twelve years ago. Both these women have matured and grown up in that time, it seems I have not.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Undercover Of The Night - The Rolling Stones. Much criticized but I still love them. Tropical music for dangerous places. I have been to a few of those, the odd thing is I actively seem to seek out the worst places wherever I am.
Some Like It Hot - At heart I am still an eighties boy. The Power Station were much underrated. The two boys from Duran played some great guitar and bass and Tony Thompson on the drums, RIP Tony. Robert Palmer adds some sheen to the act, this is a good song and a great one to get drunk to.
In The Evening - Led Zep. This is the first track of the much unloved in through the out door record. At this stage Led Zeppelin were literally falling apart. The enormous success they had enjoyed was killing them. A good anecdote is when they about to perform a show and Elvis finished his set and introduced them saying "I know who your all here to see" because he was aware that for every one record he sold they sold three. At the time this was recorded Bonham was close to death and a shadow of his former self. Page was addicted to heroin and Plant was still grieving over the death of his son. This is still a great song though with a crushing guitar riff from Jimmy Page.
Only You Can Rock Me - UFO, a somewhat forgotten hard rock band from the early eighties. I saw this band live when I was about twelve. Life seemed so much easier back then, mind you its not like my life has been a struggle since then. The only person that has made things difficult for me is me.
Shine On You Crazy Diamond - The Floyd. This song is very evocative but also, for me, quite sad. It is about the founding member who went a bit mad after taking far too many drugs. Its sort of crazy to think he was out of the band before they started to enjoy their stadium rock success. I am someone who identifies with self-destructive behaviour.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Thursday, 28 April 2011
The Rules
Today's P&L: GBP 120.00
Today's Booze: 1 bottles of not so good red wine
Today's Soundtrack: Music to drink to
Another quiet day. I was too lazy and or tired to really follow the markets. So I missed the dollars seemingly inevitable downward shift. The Americans must realize that if even the Euro seems a better choice then they really have to start addressing their finances. There was some bad news from Japan but really in the UK all everyone seems to be thinking about is the upcoming royal wedding. So tomorrow is a day off and means I'll have little chance to make any money.
A worrying request from my GP today not to attend my gastro consultant's appointment. Apparently my blood results are seriously abnormal again. My mother has entered int some mad depression, so I better not inform her and of course my father has his hands full with her. I told my brother but he still thinks I am indestructible, so is of little help. I have also broken a bone in my foot, which is somewhat painful.
I was thinking about my drinking and what it means to be a drunk. It's not as easy as you would think, you know. So what are the rules to being a drunk. It's a difficult question, I grant you because most people would assume the whole point of being a drunk is that there are no rules. Not so. There is a whole etiquette to being a serious drinker that the casual drunk may miss entirely. Here are a few of the rules:
Rule number one: If your sad, keep it to yourself. We all have a sob story, but don't bring your fellow drunks down with it - thats what blogs are for.
Rule number two: Know your fellow drunk. This is important as it can mean the difference between a good evening, an unexpected brawl and a night in prison. I will discuss the various types of drunk at a later date.
Rule number three: Travel light, whatever you have your going to stand a good chance of losing/gambling/ giving it away. Make sure it isn't anything important. For me, the things I tend to lose are pictures or letters from ex girlfriends - often torn up by new girlfriends. Some girlfriends are more important than others.
Rule number four: Don't go in to a bar without money. This may seem at odds with number three, but you don't want to be embarrassed. Even the most drunken group knows when a freeloader has attached themselves. Girls may get away with this but what man wants to be a girl?
Rule number five: Have a back-up plan. Again at odds with rule number three and really is dependant on how much of a drinker you are and where you may be. Sometimes you tell your girlfriend you are popping out for a pint of milk and the next thing you know you are waking up in Bangkok. Trust me, it happens. I used to always carry fifteen hundred dollars concealed about me and a copy of my passport. Just in case.
Rule number six: The barman/maid is not your friend. It's easy when you are drunk and especially when drinking alone to feel the person serving you has bonded with you. They haven't. You are just another drunk to them and someone they would never exchange hellos with in a regular social setting.
Rule number seven: Avoid single Scottish men.
Rule number eight: Don't try and move upmarket. How you are when you have your first drink is pretty much as good as it gets. It all goes downhill from there. I remember taking my younger brother out once and getting thrown out of The Savoy after we had been drinking, heavily, in various seedy bars.
Rule number nine: Stay away from the phone. It may seem obvious, but two thirty in the morning after drinking your own weight in alcohol is not the time to phone your ex, who you "never should have left". She is probably married with three children and living in Kent now.
Rule number ten: Careful what you say. When drinking with a companion who has experienced a recent broken relationship - tread warily. He needs your support. He is entitled to criticize his ex-wife/girlfriend but will not thank you for doing the same. And he will never appreciate you saying "she slept with all your friends, even me".
More of this later.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
We Have All The Time In The World - Listening to Louis Armstrong is like talking with your grandfather, quite reassuring and comforting. You know if I think of all the things we treat so dismissively. Time is the worst thing we waste. You work all day for what? Couple of hundred pounds, couple of thousand? Every second of your life is precious - fuck, who am I to talk? My two greatest loves I didn't speak to for years. Now time is running out and I finally realised I have spent it more recklessly than all the money I ever had.
Whiskey In The Jar - Perhaps a bit of an obvious choice, but who can ignore the coolest black Dubliner ever? The Thin Lizzy version of this appeals to me more than the traditional version, but maybe that's because I remember watching Lynott on the stage as a child. Great Song.
Fairytale Of New York - In my opinion the greatest Christmas song of all time, so somewhat out of season. The imagery of this song is so strong - anyone who's risked it all when drunk knows this feeling. This song will always remind me of my desperate relationship with The Lunatic.
I'm Still Standing - Elton John is an institution, sort of like the Queen. Not really one of my favourite artists, but this is a great song and good drinking music. We all go through that phase where we think screw what everyone else says I can do - I can do more.
Johnny Come Home - The Fine Young Cannibals and their breakthrough song. For some reason this song reminds me of my brother. He and I are almost interchangeable, there is little difference in the way we look and we were often mistaken for twins. He seems to have all the sense and responsibility whereas I am the one you always wonder if you will ever see again and sometimes hope you won't.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Today's Booze: 1 bottles of not so good red wine
Today's Soundtrack: Music to drink to
Another quiet day. I was too lazy and or tired to really follow the markets. So I missed the dollars seemingly inevitable downward shift. The Americans must realize that if even the Euro seems a better choice then they really have to start addressing their finances. There was some bad news from Japan but really in the UK all everyone seems to be thinking about is the upcoming royal wedding. So tomorrow is a day off and means I'll have little chance to make any money.
A worrying request from my GP today not to attend my gastro consultant's appointment. Apparently my blood results are seriously abnormal again. My mother has entered int some mad depression, so I better not inform her and of course my father has his hands full with her. I told my brother but he still thinks I am indestructible, so is of little help. I have also broken a bone in my foot, which is somewhat painful.
I was thinking about my drinking and what it means to be a drunk. It's not as easy as you would think, you know. So what are the rules to being a drunk. It's a difficult question, I grant you because most people would assume the whole point of being a drunk is that there are no rules. Not so. There is a whole etiquette to being a serious drinker that the casual drunk may miss entirely. Here are a few of the rules:
Rule number one: If your sad, keep it to yourself. We all have a sob story, but don't bring your fellow drunks down with it - thats what blogs are for.
Rule number two: Know your fellow drunk. This is important as it can mean the difference between a good evening, an unexpected brawl and a night in prison. I will discuss the various types of drunk at a later date.
Rule number three: Travel light, whatever you have your going to stand a good chance of losing/gambling/ giving it away. Make sure it isn't anything important. For me, the things I tend to lose are pictures or letters from ex girlfriends - often torn up by new girlfriends. Some girlfriends are more important than others.
Rule number four: Don't go in to a bar without money. This may seem at odds with number three, but you don't want to be embarrassed. Even the most drunken group knows when a freeloader has attached themselves. Girls may get away with this but what man wants to be a girl?
Rule number five: Have a back-up plan. Again at odds with rule number three and really is dependant on how much of a drinker you are and where you may be. Sometimes you tell your girlfriend you are popping out for a pint of milk and the next thing you know you are waking up in Bangkok. Trust me, it happens. I used to always carry fifteen hundred dollars concealed about me and a copy of my passport. Just in case.
Rule number six: The barman/maid is not your friend. It's easy when you are drunk and especially when drinking alone to feel the person serving you has bonded with you. They haven't. You are just another drunk to them and someone they would never exchange hellos with in a regular social setting.
Rule number seven: Avoid single Scottish men.
Rule number eight: Don't try and move upmarket. How you are when you have your first drink is pretty much as good as it gets. It all goes downhill from there. I remember taking my younger brother out once and getting thrown out of The Savoy after we had been drinking, heavily, in various seedy bars.
Rule number nine: Stay away from the phone. It may seem obvious, but two thirty in the morning after drinking your own weight in alcohol is not the time to phone your ex, who you "never should have left". She is probably married with three children and living in Kent now.
Rule number ten: Careful what you say. When drinking with a companion who has experienced a recent broken relationship - tread warily. He needs your support. He is entitled to criticize his ex-wife/girlfriend but will not thank you for doing the same. And he will never appreciate you saying "she slept with all your friends, even me".
More of this later.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
We Have All The Time In The World - Listening to Louis Armstrong is like talking with your grandfather, quite reassuring and comforting. You know if I think of all the things we treat so dismissively. Time is the worst thing we waste. You work all day for what? Couple of hundred pounds, couple of thousand? Every second of your life is precious - fuck, who am I to talk? My two greatest loves I didn't speak to for years. Now time is running out and I finally realised I have spent it more recklessly than all the money I ever had.
Whiskey In The Jar - Perhaps a bit of an obvious choice, but who can ignore the coolest black Dubliner ever? The Thin Lizzy version of this appeals to me more than the traditional version, but maybe that's because I remember watching Lynott on the stage as a child. Great Song.
Fairytale Of New York - In my opinion the greatest Christmas song of all time, so somewhat out of season. The imagery of this song is so strong - anyone who's risked it all when drunk knows this feeling. This song will always remind me of my desperate relationship with The Lunatic.
I'm Still Standing - Elton John is an institution, sort of like the Queen. Not really one of my favourite artists, but this is a great song and good drinking music. We all go through that phase where we think screw what everyone else says I can do - I can do more.
Johnny Come Home - The Fine Young Cannibals and their breakthrough song. For some reason this song reminds me of my brother. He and I are almost interchangeable, there is little difference in the way we look and we were often mistaken for twins. He seems to have all the sense and responsibility whereas I am the one you always wonder if you will ever see again and sometimes hope you won't.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Monday, 25 April 2011
Soul Survivor
Today's P&L: Everyone in the city seems to have died or gone on holiday
Today's Booze: 2 bottles of good red wine
Today's Soundtrack: Music that hurts
Nothing happening in the markets there was some volatility but the hot weather in London and the Easter break seem to have pulled everyone from their desks. I remain convinced the markets are headed for a downfall of significant size. Just check out the gold price, it is now firmly established at the fifteen hundred dollar level. most of that is due to the worrying increase in inflation. All governments are reluctant to release genuine inflation numbers because inflation is like the genie in the bottle, when it gets free it is hard to control. China and India are admitting to eight and ten percent inflation respectively. But you can bet its a lot higher in real terms. the effect of that is to limit real economic spending power in those countries so the vaunted future growth centers of the world may not be as attractive as some imagine.
Received an unexpected call from the Lunatic this morning. One of the other great loves of my life, She is in Singapore just now and we spoke for five hours. She and I still have so much chemistry together. At the same time The Stalker is back in hospital, did I feel like a shit for talking to another woman when I should only have her in my thoughts? Of course I did. However, both these women left me a long time ago for some men who were not so "difficult". Didn't work out for either of them and they seemed to both know I would always be alone. I am beginning to feel like the last refuge for the lonely and heartbroken. The Stalker and The Lunatic are very similar in more than just their nationality. They are both volatile. I guess the biggest difference is The Stalker has a strong level of self-control, until she gets drunk. The Lunatic is completely out of hand. Perhaps she has changed, its eleven years since I last saw her. All I need now is The Princess and The Italian and the Turk to get in touch and I will have the full set. I suppose I have been lucky with women but also you could say I was very unlucky none of my serious relationships have ended well. We have both came out with scars and bruises. The one night stands were so much easier. Emotions hurt some times.
Easter was good, I went to church and finally felt good about myself. If even only for a few hours. I have to go back to hospital soon I don't want to tell the Stalker when, because I am beginning to feel obligated to her for her visits. Maybe I won't be in long this time but I rarely get away with a quick visit. This time maybe when they give me some indication of how long I have left. It seems so odd to be considering death despite my reckless lifestyle. I am sure it will have more impact later but just now I don't really feel anything. Of course I have had to lie to my parents as well, my mother in particular seems to be taking it hard. I told her already she has no duty to look after me but I guess that's what mothers do.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
I Might Have Been Queen - One of Tina's best. This song makes me think of the strong women I have known in my life, but its the last verse that gets to me every time. " I look up to the stars with my perfect memory, I look through it all and my futures no shock to me, I look down but I see no tragedy, I look up to the stars till I find my destiny..." ,why do things that hurt you feel so good?
Real Good Looking Boy - A great song from the post Keith Moon Who. Does this song apply to me? I am not sure, I am quite confident I am attractive but there has to be more to it than that. My demeanor and personality are not exactly what you would call sparkling. And my self-obsession can hardly be a bonus. Still, "Wise men say
Only fools, only fools rush in, But I - I can't help Falling in love, in love with you".
Storm Warning - Another old time favourite of mine, Hilary James has a really nice voice and in this song she sounds so desperate. Perhaps not everyone understands that feeling but I am sure most of us do. I had to tell The Lunatic about my illness today and she immediately said she will get on a plane to be with me. Not sure her current boyfriend would appreciate that though.
On Every Street - This song brings back so many memories for me. I really did revisit a lot of the old places I used to go with my girlfriends in the years we were apart, not deliberately looking for them but somehow hoping I would bump into them by accident. I guess they were too involved at the time to think about me but I remember everything about each of them. They came back to me but the irony is I am running out of time.
Don't Give Up - Kate Bush always has a song for me when I am feeling down. This is depression era music at its best. I suppose I have had a gifted life, things always came easily to me - perhaps too easily. My parents are from a different time and a very poor background but they both struggled and succeeded. I still remember asking my mother if she ever read No Mean City, a classic novel about the in between years in Glasgow and she replied "we didn't need to - we lived it".
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Today's Booze: 2 bottles of good red wine
Today's Soundtrack: Music that hurts
Nothing happening in the markets there was some volatility but the hot weather in London and the Easter break seem to have pulled everyone from their desks. I remain convinced the markets are headed for a downfall of significant size. Just check out the gold price, it is now firmly established at the fifteen hundred dollar level. most of that is due to the worrying increase in inflation. All governments are reluctant to release genuine inflation numbers because inflation is like the genie in the bottle, when it gets free it is hard to control. China and India are admitting to eight and ten percent inflation respectively. But you can bet its a lot higher in real terms. the effect of that is to limit real economic spending power in those countries so the vaunted future growth centers of the world may not be as attractive as some imagine.
Received an unexpected call from the Lunatic this morning. One of the other great loves of my life, She is in Singapore just now and we spoke for five hours. She and I still have so much chemistry together. At the same time The Stalker is back in hospital, did I feel like a shit for talking to another woman when I should only have her in my thoughts? Of course I did. However, both these women left me a long time ago for some men who were not so "difficult". Didn't work out for either of them and they seemed to both know I would always be alone. I am beginning to feel like the last refuge for the lonely and heartbroken. The Stalker and The Lunatic are very similar in more than just their nationality. They are both volatile. I guess the biggest difference is The Stalker has a strong level of self-control, until she gets drunk. The Lunatic is completely out of hand. Perhaps she has changed, its eleven years since I last saw her. All I need now is The Princess and The Italian and the Turk to get in touch and I will have the full set. I suppose I have been lucky with women but also you could say I was very unlucky none of my serious relationships have ended well. We have both came out with scars and bruises. The one night stands were so much easier. Emotions hurt some times.
Easter was good, I went to church and finally felt good about myself. If even only for a few hours. I have to go back to hospital soon I don't want to tell the Stalker when, because I am beginning to feel obligated to her for her visits. Maybe I won't be in long this time but I rarely get away with a quick visit. This time maybe when they give me some indication of how long I have left. It seems so odd to be considering death despite my reckless lifestyle. I am sure it will have more impact later but just now I don't really feel anything. Of course I have had to lie to my parents as well, my mother in particular seems to be taking it hard. I told her already she has no duty to look after me but I guess that's what mothers do.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
I Might Have Been Queen - One of Tina's best. This song makes me think of the strong women I have known in my life, but its the last verse that gets to me every time. " I look up to the stars with my perfect memory, I look through it all and my futures no shock to me, I look down but I see no tragedy, I look up to the stars till I find my destiny..." ,why do things that hurt you feel so good?
Real Good Looking Boy - A great song from the post Keith Moon Who. Does this song apply to me? I am not sure, I am quite confident I am attractive but there has to be more to it than that. My demeanor and personality are not exactly what you would call sparkling. And my self-obsession can hardly be a bonus. Still, "Wise men say
Only fools, only fools rush in, But I - I can't help Falling in love, in love with you".
Storm Warning - Another old time favourite of mine, Hilary James has a really nice voice and in this song she sounds so desperate. Perhaps not everyone understands that feeling but I am sure most of us do. I had to tell The Lunatic about my illness today and she immediately said she will get on a plane to be with me. Not sure her current boyfriend would appreciate that though.
On Every Street - This song brings back so many memories for me. I really did revisit a lot of the old places I used to go with my girlfriends in the years we were apart, not deliberately looking for them but somehow hoping I would bump into them by accident. I guess they were too involved at the time to think about me but I remember everything about each of them. They came back to me but the irony is I am running out of time.
Don't Give Up - Kate Bush always has a song for me when I am feeling down. This is depression era music at its best. I suppose I have had a gifted life, things always came easily to me - perhaps too easily. My parents are from a different time and a very poor background but they both struggled and succeeded. I still remember asking my mother if she ever read No Mean City, a classic novel about the in between years in Glasgow and she replied "we didn't need to - we lived it".
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
Is Luck On My Side?
Today's P&L: GBP 220.00
Today's Booze: 2 Pints of Kronenbourg 1664
Today's Soundtrack: Music That I Just Like
So the Equity markets had a brief downturn but seem to have recovered fine. After all what is there to worry about. Unrest in the Middle East, more European countries close to default, spiraling inflation, decline in real earnings. The Europeans are likely to raise interest rates on Thursday. The ECB is really just the Bundesbank in all but name and the Germans have fairly bad memories of inflation. The Bank of England will be under pressure to match the rise but the government knows that the UK economy is far to fragile. Proving once again that the UK is too far out of sync with the European economies to have ever been a member of the Euro. I made a quick trade on the DAX 30 prior to the US opening but really didn't do much the rest of the day. I wonder how much longer these economies can go along on essentially borrowing from future. The Japanese earthquake was tragic in terms of human loss but in financial terms it raised an important issues to the funding of the huge American debt. Japan is an enormously rich country but they are struggling with the situation and the aftermath. so it is necessary for them to repatriate some of their external holdings. Sooner or later America is going to have to make some harsh decisions as to what the federal government can afford. I imagine that social services, however minimal they are, will be the first to be cut.
So a quick reminder to me that its not all about me. In quick succession, the Stalker had to return to hospital, and it looks like a bad one and my father down in Spain is also in hospital. Its funny when you are ill and a bit of a drama queen, like me, you tend to forget about other people. I know the Stalker was sick, I mean really sick but she always seemed so full of life around me. My father is the same I just realised he is seventy one years old. He seems so fit and healthy. Because of my inability to express my feelings if either of them die I will never get the chance to
have told them how I feel about them. I recognize this but I also know, that if they are both ok, I will once again be unable to say such thoughts to either of them.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
We Let The Stars Go - Prefab Sprout, wonder if they are still around. Maybe its true, every Irish man is a poet, Paddy wrote some great songs. This song just makes me sad.
Talk Of The Town - "Maybe tomorrow, Maybe Someday" The Pretenders were such a good band, when they were at their peak I guess I was too young to really appreciate them. "Oh but it's hard to live by the rules - I never could and still never do". This song reminds me of a period when I lost it after splitting up, for good this time, with the Lunatic, I wouldn't say I was out of control but for a few months, even by my standards I was overdoing it.
Life's What you Make It - This is classic 80's Pop/Rock. Talk Talk are quite melancholic, a bit like me. I guess this song reminds me of those reflective moments we all get, maybe the ones I drink to avoid.
Storm Warning - Another long-time favourite of mine. I am not sure why I love this song so much, the girl who is the daughter of Bob James seems so sad when she sings, but also has that acceptance of the inevitability of it. This song reminds me of when I was a teenager on the ship, days watching the ocean and how restless it seemed.
Two Faces - Bruce Springsteen, I know he is not terribly popular anymore, but this is a great song. We all have at least two sides to us, I like to pretend I am strictly one dimensional but when I listen to this song, I think about how I ended up like this. As far as I can remember I have always tried to lock away my feelings and even now it seems far easier to write them on a faceless blog. When I listen to this song I think about the Stalker, I suspect she is beginning to see through my on demand pleasantness but she just can't seem to deal with my otherwise frosty attitude.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Today's Booze: 2 Pints of Kronenbourg 1664
Today's Soundtrack: Music That I Just Like
So the Equity markets had a brief downturn but seem to have recovered fine. After all what is there to worry about. Unrest in the Middle East, more European countries close to default, spiraling inflation, decline in real earnings. The Europeans are likely to raise interest rates on Thursday. The ECB is really just the Bundesbank in all but name and the Germans have fairly bad memories of inflation. The Bank of England will be under pressure to match the rise but the government knows that the UK economy is far to fragile. Proving once again that the UK is too far out of sync with the European economies to have ever been a member of the Euro. I made a quick trade on the DAX 30 prior to the US opening but really didn't do much the rest of the day. I wonder how much longer these economies can go along on essentially borrowing from future. The Japanese earthquake was tragic in terms of human loss but in financial terms it raised an important issues to the funding of the huge American debt. Japan is an enormously rich country but they are struggling with the situation and the aftermath. so it is necessary for them to repatriate some of their external holdings. Sooner or later America is going to have to make some harsh decisions as to what the federal government can afford. I imagine that social services, however minimal they are, will be the first to be cut.
So a quick reminder to me that its not all about me. In quick succession, the Stalker had to return to hospital, and it looks like a bad one and my father down in Spain is also in hospital. Its funny when you are ill and a bit of a drama queen, like me, you tend to forget about other people. I know the Stalker was sick, I mean really sick but she always seemed so full of life around me. My father is the same I just realised he is seventy one years old. He seems so fit and healthy. Because of my inability to express my feelings if either of them die I will never get the chance to
have told them how I feel about them. I recognize this but I also know, that if they are both ok, I will once again be unable to say such thoughts to either of them.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
We Let The Stars Go - Prefab Sprout, wonder if they are still around. Maybe its true, every Irish man is a poet, Paddy wrote some great songs. This song just makes me sad.
Talk Of The Town - "Maybe tomorrow, Maybe Someday" The Pretenders were such a good band, when they were at their peak I guess I was too young to really appreciate them. "Oh but it's hard to live by the rules - I never could and still never do". This song reminds me of a period when I lost it after splitting up, for good this time, with the Lunatic, I wouldn't say I was out of control but for a few months, even by my standards I was overdoing it.
Life's What you Make It - This is classic 80's Pop/Rock. Talk Talk are quite melancholic, a bit like me. I guess this song reminds me of those reflective moments we all get, maybe the ones I drink to avoid.
Storm Warning - Another long-time favourite of mine. I am not sure why I love this song so much, the girl who is the daughter of Bob James seems so sad when she sings, but also has that acceptance of the inevitability of it. This song reminds me of when I was a teenager on the ship, days watching the ocean and how restless it seemed.
Two Faces - Bruce Springsteen, I know he is not terribly popular anymore, but this is a great song. We all have at least two sides to us, I like to pretend I am strictly one dimensional but when I listen to this song, I think about how I ended up like this. As far as I can remember I have always tried to lock away my feelings and even now it seems far easier to write them on a faceless blog. When I listen to this song I think about the Stalker, I suspect she is beginning to see through my on demand pleasantness but she just can't seem to deal with my otherwise frosty attitude.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Wednesday, 9 March 2011
Amends To Be Made
Today's P&L: GBP 100.00
Today's Booze: Lots, it is Fat Tuesday
Today's Soundtrack: Music To Make You Regret
The markets continue to rise, they are looking weak. Some Economist was saying the Western economies are like a dying body kept alive by judicious use of steroids, meaning quantative easing. I totally agree with this. It has to end one day and I suspect the end will be sooner and more brutal than we expect. The UK has tv adverts for workday loans at an APR of two thousand five hundred percent, which should be illegle, but are allowed under our current government. Possibly because the majority state-owned bank, Lloyds-HBOS, is allowed to charge up to four thousand percent on unauthorized overdrafts. The Public sector is shedding jobs hand over fist and yet David Cameron can appear on prime time tv shows looking smug and saying we all have to share the pain. I doubt he is feeling it as much as most people. Gold took a Knock recently costing me a lot of money but has sprung up to an all-time high before retreating. The price of Gold is interesting because it reflects the lack of confidence in the global economy. Forget what the spin doctors and politicians tell you and keep hold of your gold. You may need it in the future. The situation in the middle east has obviously affected the price of oil, which I rarely trade. What I wonder is why these nations that have been dominated for thirty to forty years are suddenly finding a voice while we in the West put up with the same miserable situation we always have had at the hands of the ruling elite.
I was in Hospital for a week or so again, but as usual the tests are inconclusive. I am beginning to think I am some project for junior doctors.
So that was Fat Tuesday, I sort of exploited the fact that I am not going to drink, or at least try, for forty days. On Monday the Stalker paid me a visit and, needless to say we had a fairly savage argument. Wonder how long she can take this, she is tough but I am so use to things going on another level entirely with the Lunatic that she won't be able to outlast me. She did say, before she stormed out that she needed to know if going out with me is just chasing the wind. Its so odd because the last thing in the world I want is to hurt her and yet it seems inevitable. I really try to be nice to her but she is too grown up. It isn't like before. She needs stability and I still avoid it.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Empire State Of Mind - A modern song, by my standards. Obviously I am not talking about the Jay Z version but the Alicia Keyes at the Piano one. This song reminds me of when I was young and thought I could do anything. I never feel like that anymore.
This Womans Work - My sensitive side. Of course I love Kate Bush with a passion, but this song is so sad it brings a tear to my eye. I guess when it comes down to it Mother and child have a special bond. My mother contacted the doctors, without my knowledge to ask if she could donate her liver to me. Unfortunately only my father and older brother are compatible. After all the time, she is just trying to do what she can for me. I would never tell her how much I appreciate her efforts and she would never expect me to say it.
I Don't Want To Miss A Thing - I am not a huge Aerosmith fan, apart from Dream On, but this song touches me when I am moody. Despite what all of my past girlfriends would say about my cold nature. I do feel this passion, I just don't know how to show my feelings.
Red Wine - UB40, Not Diamond. This seemed to be in the number one position for ever. Unlike most of my peers I was allowed to drink alcohol at a very young age on the basis I would treat it with respect. That worked out well! Don't judge though, my older brother was also allowed to drink and he is practically tee-total and has been for years. This song makes me think of when I regret things I didn't do - mostly women, for example if the Stalker finally leaves I know I will regret not letting her know I love her.
Run To You - Bryan Adams, I remember this vividly from when i was about fourteen years old. I was into Pop music back then but I liked this track because of the , I don't know desperation. Even then I had a flair for the dramatic. Reminds me of a girl who lived on the same road as me.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Today's Booze: Lots, it is Fat Tuesday
Today's Soundtrack: Music To Make You Regret
The markets continue to rise, they are looking weak. Some Economist was saying the Western economies are like a dying body kept alive by judicious use of steroids, meaning quantative easing. I totally agree with this. It has to end one day and I suspect the end will be sooner and more brutal than we expect. The UK has tv adverts for workday loans at an APR of two thousand five hundred percent, which should be illegle, but are allowed under our current government. Possibly because the majority state-owned bank, Lloyds-HBOS, is allowed to charge up to four thousand percent on unauthorized overdrafts. The Public sector is shedding jobs hand over fist and yet David Cameron can appear on prime time tv shows looking smug and saying we all have to share the pain. I doubt he is feeling it as much as most people. Gold took a Knock recently costing me a lot of money but has sprung up to an all-time high before retreating. The price of Gold is interesting because it reflects the lack of confidence in the global economy. Forget what the spin doctors and politicians tell you and keep hold of your gold. You may need it in the future. The situation in the middle east has obviously affected the price of oil, which I rarely trade. What I wonder is why these nations that have been dominated for thirty to forty years are suddenly finding a voice while we in the West put up with the same miserable situation we always have had at the hands of the ruling elite.
I was in Hospital for a week or so again, but as usual the tests are inconclusive. I am beginning to think I am some project for junior doctors.
So that was Fat Tuesday, I sort of exploited the fact that I am not going to drink, or at least try, for forty days. On Monday the Stalker paid me a visit and, needless to say we had a fairly savage argument. Wonder how long she can take this, she is tough but I am so use to things going on another level entirely with the Lunatic that she won't be able to outlast me. She did say, before she stormed out that she needed to know if going out with me is just chasing the wind. Its so odd because the last thing in the world I want is to hurt her and yet it seems inevitable. I really try to be nice to her but she is too grown up. It isn't like before. She needs stability and I still avoid it.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Empire State Of Mind - A modern song, by my standards. Obviously I am not talking about the Jay Z version but the Alicia Keyes at the Piano one. This song reminds me of when I was young and thought I could do anything. I never feel like that anymore.
This Womans Work - My sensitive side. Of course I love Kate Bush with a passion, but this song is so sad it brings a tear to my eye. I guess when it comes down to it Mother and child have a special bond. My mother contacted the doctors, without my knowledge to ask if she could donate her liver to me. Unfortunately only my father and older brother are compatible. After all the time, she is just trying to do what she can for me. I would never tell her how much I appreciate her efforts and she would never expect me to say it.
I Don't Want To Miss A Thing - I am not a huge Aerosmith fan, apart from Dream On, but this song touches me when I am moody. Despite what all of my past girlfriends would say about my cold nature. I do feel this passion, I just don't know how to show my feelings.
Red Wine - UB40, Not Diamond. This seemed to be in the number one position for ever. Unlike most of my peers I was allowed to drink alcohol at a very young age on the basis I would treat it with respect. That worked out well! Don't judge though, my older brother was also allowed to drink and he is practically tee-total and has been for years. This song makes me think of when I regret things I didn't do - mostly women, for example if the Stalker finally leaves I know I will regret not letting her know I love her.
Run To You - Bryan Adams, I remember this vividly from when i was about fourteen years old. I was into Pop music back then but I liked this track because of the , I don't know desperation. Even then I had a flair for the dramatic. Reminds me of a girl who lived on the same road as me.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
