Today's P&L: GBP 220.00
Today's Booze: 2 Pints of Kronenbourg 1664
Today's Soundtrack: Music That I Just Like
So the Equity markets had a brief downturn but seem to have recovered fine. After all what is there to worry about. Unrest in the Middle East, more European countries close to default, spiraling inflation, decline in real earnings. The Europeans are likely to raise interest rates on Thursday. The ECB is really just the Bundesbank in all but name and the Germans have fairly bad memories of inflation. The Bank of England will be under pressure to match the rise but the government knows that the UK economy is far to fragile. Proving once again that the UK is too far out of sync with the European economies to have ever been a member of the Euro. I made a quick trade on the DAX 30 prior to the US opening but really didn't do much the rest of the day. I wonder how much longer these economies can go along on essentially borrowing from future. The Japanese earthquake was tragic in terms of human loss but in financial terms it raised an important issues to the funding of the huge American debt. Japan is an enormously rich country but they are struggling with the situation and the aftermath. so it is necessary for them to repatriate some of their external holdings. Sooner or later America is going to have to make some harsh decisions as to what the federal government can afford. I imagine that social services, however minimal they are, will be the first to be cut.
So a quick reminder to me that its not all about me. In quick succession, the Stalker had to return to hospital, and it looks like a bad one and my father down in Spain is also in hospital. Its funny when you are ill and a bit of a drama queen, like me, you tend to forget about other people. I know the Stalker was sick, I mean really sick but she always seemed so full of life around me. My father is the same I just realised he is seventy one years old. He seems so fit and healthy. Because of my inability to express my feelings if either of them die I will never get the chance to
have told them how I feel about them. I recognize this but I also know, that if they are both ok, I will once again be unable to say such thoughts to either of them.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
We Let The Stars Go - Prefab Sprout, wonder if they are still around. Maybe its true, every Irish man is a poet, Paddy wrote some great songs. This song just makes me sad.
Talk Of The Town - "Maybe tomorrow, Maybe Someday" The Pretenders were such a good band, when they were at their peak I guess I was too young to really appreciate them. "Oh but it's hard to live by the rules - I never could and still never do". This song reminds me of a period when I lost it after splitting up, for good this time, with the Lunatic, I wouldn't say I was out of control but for a few months, even by my standards I was overdoing it.
Life's What you Make It - This is classic 80's Pop/Rock. Talk Talk are quite melancholic, a bit like me. I guess this song reminds me of those reflective moments we all get, maybe the ones I drink to avoid.
Storm Warning - Another long-time favourite of mine. I am not sure why I love this song so much, the girl who is the daughter of Bob James seems so sad when she sings, but also has that acceptance of the inevitability of it. This song reminds me of when I was a teenager on the ship, days watching the ocean and how restless it seemed.
Two Faces - Bruce Springsteen, I know he is not terribly popular anymore, but this is a great song. We all have at least two sides to us, I like to pretend I am strictly one dimensional but when I listen to this song, I think about how I ended up like this. As far as I can remember I have always tried to lock away my feelings and even now it seems far easier to write them on a faceless blog. When I listen to this song I think about the Stalker, I suspect she is beginning to see through my on demand pleasantness but she just can't seem to deal with my otherwise frosty attitude.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
Wednesday, 9 March 2011
Amends To Be Made
Today's P&L: GBP 100.00
Today's Booze: Lots, it is Fat Tuesday
Today's Soundtrack: Music To Make You Regret
The markets continue to rise, they are looking weak. Some Economist was saying the Western economies are like a dying body kept alive by judicious use of steroids, meaning quantative easing. I totally agree with this. It has to end one day and I suspect the end will be sooner and more brutal than we expect. The UK has tv adverts for workday loans at an APR of two thousand five hundred percent, which should be illegle, but are allowed under our current government. Possibly because the majority state-owned bank, Lloyds-HBOS, is allowed to charge up to four thousand percent on unauthorized overdrafts. The Public sector is shedding jobs hand over fist and yet David Cameron can appear on prime time tv shows looking smug and saying we all have to share the pain. I doubt he is feeling it as much as most people. Gold took a Knock recently costing me a lot of money but has sprung up to an all-time high before retreating. The price of Gold is interesting because it reflects the lack of confidence in the global economy. Forget what the spin doctors and politicians tell you and keep hold of your gold. You may need it in the future. The situation in the middle east has obviously affected the price of oil, which I rarely trade. What I wonder is why these nations that have been dominated for thirty to forty years are suddenly finding a voice while we in the West put up with the same miserable situation we always have had at the hands of the ruling elite.
I was in Hospital for a week or so again, but as usual the tests are inconclusive. I am beginning to think I am some project for junior doctors.
So that was Fat Tuesday, I sort of exploited the fact that I am not going to drink, or at least try, for forty days. On Monday the Stalker paid me a visit and, needless to say we had a fairly savage argument. Wonder how long she can take this, she is tough but I am so use to things going on another level entirely with the Lunatic that she won't be able to outlast me. She did say, before she stormed out that she needed to know if going out with me is just chasing the wind. Its so odd because the last thing in the world I want is to hurt her and yet it seems inevitable. I really try to be nice to her but she is too grown up. It isn't like before. She needs stability and I still avoid it.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Empire State Of Mind - A modern song, by my standards. Obviously I am not talking about the Jay Z version but the Alicia Keyes at the Piano one. This song reminds me of when I was young and thought I could do anything. I never feel like that anymore.
This Womans Work - My sensitive side. Of course I love Kate Bush with a passion, but this song is so sad it brings a tear to my eye. I guess when it comes down to it Mother and child have a special bond. My mother contacted the doctors, without my knowledge to ask if she could donate her liver to me. Unfortunately only my father and older brother are compatible. After all the time, she is just trying to do what she can for me. I would never tell her how much I appreciate her efforts and she would never expect me to say it.
I Don't Want To Miss A Thing - I am not a huge Aerosmith fan, apart from Dream On, but this song touches me when I am moody. Despite what all of my past girlfriends would say about my cold nature. I do feel this passion, I just don't know how to show my feelings.
Red Wine - UB40, Not Diamond. This seemed to be in the number one position for ever. Unlike most of my peers I was allowed to drink alcohol at a very young age on the basis I would treat it with respect. That worked out well! Don't judge though, my older brother was also allowed to drink and he is practically tee-total and has been for years. This song makes me think of when I regret things I didn't do - mostly women, for example if the Stalker finally leaves I know I will regret not letting her know I love her.
Run To You - Bryan Adams, I remember this vividly from when i was about fourteen years old. I was into Pop music back then but I liked this track because of the , I don't know desperation. Even then I had a flair for the dramatic. Reminds me of a girl who lived on the same road as me.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Today's Booze: Lots, it is Fat Tuesday
Today's Soundtrack: Music To Make You Regret
The markets continue to rise, they are looking weak. Some Economist was saying the Western economies are like a dying body kept alive by judicious use of steroids, meaning quantative easing. I totally agree with this. It has to end one day and I suspect the end will be sooner and more brutal than we expect. The UK has tv adverts for workday loans at an APR of two thousand five hundred percent, which should be illegle, but are allowed under our current government. Possibly because the majority state-owned bank, Lloyds-HBOS, is allowed to charge up to four thousand percent on unauthorized overdrafts. The Public sector is shedding jobs hand over fist and yet David Cameron can appear on prime time tv shows looking smug and saying we all have to share the pain. I doubt he is feeling it as much as most people. Gold took a Knock recently costing me a lot of money but has sprung up to an all-time high before retreating. The price of Gold is interesting because it reflects the lack of confidence in the global economy. Forget what the spin doctors and politicians tell you and keep hold of your gold. You may need it in the future. The situation in the middle east has obviously affected the price of oil, which I rarely trade. What I wonder is why these nations that have been dominated for thirty to forty years are suddenly finding a voice while we in the West put up with the same miserable situation we always have had at the hands of the ruling elite.
I was in Hospital for a week or so again, but as usual the tests are inconclusive. I am beginning to think I am some project for junior doctors.
So that was Fat Tuesday, I sort of exploited the fact that I am not going to drink, or at least try, for forty days. On Monday the Stalker paid me a visit and, needless to say we had a fairly savage argument. Wonder how long she can take this, she is tough but I am so use to things going on another level entirely with the Lunatic that she won't be able to outlast me. She did say, before she stormed out that she needed to know if going out with me is just chasing the wind. Its so odd because the last thing in the world I want is to hurt her and yet it seems inevitable. I really try to be nice to her but she is too grown up. It isn't like before. She needs stability and I still avoid it.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Empire State Of Mind - A modern song, by my standards. Obviously I am not talking about the Jay Z version but the Alicia Keyes at the Piano one. This song reminds me of when I was young and thought I could do anything. I never feel like that anymore.
This Womans Work - My sensitive side. Of course I love Kate Bush with a passion, but this song is so sad it brings a tear to my eye. I guess when it comes down to it Mother and child have a special bond. My mother contacted the doctors, without my knowledge to ask if she could donate her liver to me. Unfortunately only my father and older brother are compatible. After all the time, she is just trying to do what she can for me. I would never tell her how much I appreciate her efforts and she would never expect me to say it.
I Don't Want To Miss A Thing - I am not a huge Aerosmith fan, apart from Dream On, but this song touches me when I am moody. Despite what all of my past girlfriends would say about my cold nature. I do feel this passion, I just don't know how to show my feelings.
Red Wine - UB40, Not Diamond. This seemed to be in the number one position for ever. Unlike most of my peers I was allowed to drink alcohol at a very young age on the basis I would treat it with respect. That worked out well! Don't judge though, my older brother was also allowed to drink and he is practically tee-total and has been for years. This song makes me think of when I regret things I didn't do - mostly women, for example if the Stalker finally leaves I know I will regret not letting her know I love her.
Run To You - Bryan Adams, I remember this vividly from when i was about fourteen years old. I was into Pop music back then but I liked this track because of the , I don't know desperation. Even then I had a flair for the dramatic. Reminds me of a girl who lived on the same road as me.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Wednesday, 16 February 2011
It Doesn't Matter Anyway
Today's P&L: GBP 300.00
Today's Booze: 75cl of Imperial Vodka, 4 pints of Dry cider
Today's Soundtrack: Music To Wonder Why
Didn't do much in the markets today. Increasingly bemused by the relentless rise of the major indexes. Is it just me or has the world gone quite mad? America is printing money like its going out of fashion and their is significant turmoil in the middle east, perhaps they will notice now Bahrain is experiencing unrest after all the US 5th fleet is based there. Of course America and the UK is only concerned about Egypt because of the Suez canal, in these green times how can anyone afford to divert their ships around Africa if its closed? Personally I suspect getting rid of Mubarak was a bad move, I wouldn't be surprised to see Islamic fundamentalism getting a real hold in Egypt. The Muslim Brotherhood is presenting a nice face but they firmly believe in implementing sharia law when they are elected. Their stated aim is to restore islam "from Spain to Indonesia". Aside from the political issues, which when I worked in the city would be causing all kinds of volatility, I suppose the other issue that no one seems to have noticed is how the major corporations, especially in the US have decided its better to give money to stockholders than employ people. it seems the American dream is finally over.
The visit from my parents went quite well, it seems strange that my father doesn't change in appearance but my mother is definitely aging, she can tell it as well and is most unhappy. As usual they grilled me about my health but they seem surprisingly cool about it, mind you my doctor is the same, she says you look really healthy but I know how unwell you are. Still, the stalker is always there to ensure I suffer. she caught me drinking and we had an argument in which she said you did two things wrong you drank too much and you lied about it so I don't think we can continue our relationship - I won't talk to you for a while, maybe a month or so. Give her credit she lasted four days before phoning me.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Blue Moon - The Elvis version, Billie Holliday sings it too fast for me. Elvis sounds like a guy who just broke up with his first girlfriend. All guys know what I am talking about.
San Marco - I have become rather obsessed with this track from Rondo Veneziano. Its kind of like pop classical music but I am just drawn to it. Not sure why, I have only been to Venice once but loved it. Perhaps a doomed city reminds me of my own situation.
You Are Everything - Marvin and Diana Ross, two motown superstars. I listen to this song quite often and it always reminds me of the Lunatic. "I just can't go on living life as I do, comparing each girl to you - when they just won't do". You know I feel these kind of emotions, I am sure I do I just have difficulty expressing my emotions. It saddens me that The Stalker and I will split up or one of us will die without her ever knowing how i really feel about her.
Michael Caine - I am not really a fan of Madness, which seems to be quite a London phenomena. This song is one of their better ones, to me it sounds like a study in obsession. I have little personal experience with really strong emotions, I just sort of drift through life, just occasionally getting caught up in extreme turbulence, with the Lunatic or The Stalker for example. My parents say its because everything came so easy to me I never really felt like trying.
I Quit - Not many people know this song by Hepburn. This shouldn't really be a song for me but perhaps for the Stalker. "There was a time when I would go walking backwards around the world, if you said your mine and I'd run blindfolded down the Kings Road if you would just arrive on time". Loving me isn't easy and I don't know why a girl who is used to so much better can't let me go.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Today's Booze: 75cl of Imperial Vodka, 4 pints of Dry cider
Today's Soundtrack: Music To Wonder Why
Didn't do much in the markets today. Increasingly bemused by the relentless rise of the major indexes. Is it just me or has the world gone quite mad? America is printing money like its going out of fashion and their is significant turmoil in the middle east, perhaps they will notice now Bahrain is experiencing unrest after all the US 5th fleet is based there. Of course America and the UK is only concerned about Egypt because of the Suez canal, in these green times how can anyone afford to divert their ships around Africa if its closed? Personally I suspect getting rid of Mubarak was a bad move, I wouldn't be surprised to see Islamic fundamentalism getting a real hold in Egypt. The Muslim Brotherhood is presenting a nice face but they firmly believe in implementing sharia law when they are elected. Their stated aim is to restore islam "from Spain to Indonesia". Aside from the political issues, which when I worked in the city would be causing all kinds of volatility, I suppose the other issue that no one seems to have noticed is how the major corporations, especially in the US have decided its better to give money to stockholders than employ people. it seems the American dream is finally over.
The visit from my parents went quite well, it seems strange that my father doesn't change in appearance but my mother is definitely aging, she can tell it as well and is most unhappy. As usual they grilled me about my health but they seem surprisingly cool about it, mind you my doctor is the same, she says you look really healthy but I know how unwell you are. Still, the stalker is always there to ensure I suffer. she caught me drinking and we had an argument in which she said you did two things wrong you drank too much and you lied about it so I don't think we can continue our relationship - I won't talk to you for a while, maybe a month or so. Give her credit she lasted four days before phoning me.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Blue Moon - The Elvis version, Billie Holliday sings it too fast for me. Elvis sounds like a guy who just broke up with his first girlfriend. All guys know what I am talking about.
San Marco - I have become rather obsessed with this track from Rondo Veneziano. Its kind of like pop classical music but I am just drawn to it. Not sure why, I have only been to Venice once but loved it. Perhaps a doomed city reminds me of my own situation.
You Are Everything - Marvin and Diana Ross, two motown superstars. I listen to this song quite often and it always reminds me of the Lunatic. "I just can't go on living life as I do, comparing each girl to you - when they just won't do". You know I feel these kind of emotions, I am sure I do I just have difficulty expressing my emotions. It saddens me that The Stalker and I will split up or one of us will die without her ever knowing how i really feel about her.
Michael Caine - I am not really a fan of Madness, which seems to be quite a London phenomena. This song is one of their better ones, to me it sounds like a study in obsession. I have little personal experience with really strong emotions, I just sort of drift through life, just occasionally getting caught up in extreme turbulence, with the Lunatic or The Stalker for example. My parents say its because everything came so easy to me I never really felt like trying.
I Quit - Not many people know this song by Hepburn. This shouldn't really be a song for me but perhaps for the Stalker. "There was a time when I would go walking backwards around the world, if you said your mine and I'd run blindfolded down the Kings Road if you would just arrive on time". Loving me isn't easy and I don't know why a girl who is used to so much better can't let me go.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Friday, 28 January 2011
The Alcohol Imperative
Today's P&L: -240.00 GBP
Today's Booze: 6 pints of Kronenbourg 1664, 6 double Vodkas
Today's Soundtrack: Music to Wring Your Hands To
I was caught out badly by the decision from S&P to lower the rating of Japan. I managed to recover most of the damage, but like many others I question the timing. Why was this done at the London open, also there was some dodgy currency trades prior to the announcement. If you were a rating agency who would you downgrade Japan or the UK or the US? I also have taken some heavy losses on gold futures recently, which I find difficult to understand. In an environment where the governments have lost the ability to control interest rates and inflation is steadily increasing Gold is the perfect asset to hold.
The Stalker has been driving me crazy. She clearly knows me too well and is turning up unexpectedly. She has recently started showing me the sort of intense affection she did when we first met all those years ago. It is nice but I am uncomfortable with such intimacy. The closer she tries to get, the more I withdraw. She asked me if I thought I was going to survive the year and I said, honestly, I am not sure but it doesn't look great. Her reply was "well, you better make me pregnant soon then". I never thought I would be worrying about dying before my child was born. Aside from that my health is quite good. I got my scans back for my knees and it seems I have virtually no cartilage in my knees any more. So that explains why sitting down hurts so much.
I have to decide if I am going to fast before Easter, I haven't done it since I was ten and to be honest I doubt I have the will power, I would only be able to do the bread and water one. I know my doctor would advise against it, but I might give it a try Ash Wednesday is March the ninth this year so If I am going to attempt it, I'll be sure to have a fat Tuesday to remember.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Wuthering Hights - After leaving a few messages at Bridgets blog, Tea and Digestives, I realised how much I love the music of Kate Bush. This is still my favourite because of the huge amount of passion she sings it with. Why I find it difficult to express my own feelings is another matter. The Stalker says I am lost in the universe.
Killing Me Softly - I much prefer the Fugees version to the Roberta Flack original. We have all had that feeling, when listening to a piece of music when we think - this could have been written about me, that's what I think this song is all about.
Your Still The One - Whatever happened to Shania Twain, she used to be everywhere. This is a real girls song, I remember it because there was a band in the city I lived with the Lunatic that sang this every night we were there. I had never heard the song before then but liked it a lot, there was that an some song called eternal triangle, which I think was sung by some Indonesian.
Cambodia - Kim Wilde singing a song with political overtones in the early eighties - who would have thunk it. I have been to Cambodia several times, its a sad country you only have to look around for the people who are missing a whole generation effectively wiped out, so much for atheism.
I Don't Want To Wait - Paula Cole always seems so unhappy about something, I suppose many women are with men like me who are reluctant to commit. I don't know if its my natural self destructiveness or my belief that I am never really going to die that make it hard for me. It is contradictory because the doctors are not exactly hopeful and yet, I still keep going.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Today's Booze: 6 pints of Kronenbourg 1664, 6 double Vodkas
Today's Soundtrack: Music to Wring Your Hands To
I was caught out badly by the decision from S&P to lower the rating of Japan. I managed to recover most of the damage, but like many others I question the timing. Why was this done at the London open, also there was some dodgy currency trades prior to the announcement. If you were a rating agency who would you downgrade Japan or the UK or the US? I also have taken some heavy losses on gold futures recently, which I find difficult to understand. In an environment where the governments have lost the ability to control interest rates and inflation is steadily increasing Gold is the perfect asset to hold.
The Stalker has been driving me crazy. She clearly knows me too well and is turning up unexpectedly. She has recently started showing me the sort of intense affection she did when we first met all those years ago. It is nice but I am uncomfortable with such intimacy. The closer she tries to get, the more I withdraw. She asked me if I thought I was going to survive the year and I said, honestly, I am not sure but it doesn't look great. Her reply was "well, you better make me pregnant soon then". I never thought I would be worrying about dying before my child was born. Aside from that my health is quite good. I got my scans back for my knees and it seems I have virtually no cartilage in my knees any more. So that explains why sitting down hurts so much.
I have to decide if I am going to fast before Easter, I haven't done it since I was ten and to be honest I doubt I have the will power, I would only be able to do the bread and water one. I know my doctor would advise against it, but I might give it a try Ash Wednesday is March the ninth this year so If I am going to attempt it, I'll be sure to have a fat Tuesday to remember.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Wuthering Hights - After leaving a few messages at Bridgets blog, Tea and Digestives, I realised how much I love the music of Kate Bush. This is still my favourite because of the huge amount of passion she sings it with. Why I find it difficult to express my own feelings is another matter. The Stalker says I am lost in the universe.
Killing Me Softly - I much prefer the Fugees version to the Roberta Flack original. We have all had that feeling, when listening to a piece of music when we think - this could have been written about me, that's what I think this song is all about.
Your Still The One - Whatever happened to Shania Twain, she used to be everywhere. This is a real girls song, I remember it because there was a band in the city I lived with the Lunatic that sang this every night we were there. I had never heard the song before then but liked it a lot, there was that an some song called eternal triangle, which I think was sung by some Indonesian.
Cambodia - Kim Wilde singing a song with political overtones in the early eighties - who would have thunk it. I have been to Cambodia several times, its a sad country you only have to look around for the people who are missing a whole generation effectively wiped out, so much for atheism.
I Don't Want To Wait - Paula Cole always seems so unhappy about something, I suppose many women are with men like me who are reluctant to commit. I don't know if its my natural self destructiveness or my belief that I am never really going to die that make it hard for me. It is contradictory because the doctors are not exactly hopeful and yet, I still keep going.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Friday, 7 January 2011
Is That It ???
Yesterdays P&L: GBP 0.00
Yesterdays Booze: A Lot
Yesterdays Soundtrack: Music To stomp your feet to
No work yesterday, just had to see another doctor in a place called Reading, (no offence, but it looks like someone built a town in the middle of a large industrial estate).
So it was my birthday, I am an old man now, forty one - screw you to the people who said I'll never make it past twenty seven, except my mum and dad - seems ungrateful saying screw you to your parents on your birthday. So now I am in my forties, I have to ask - what next? A mid-life crisis seems sort of redundant for me, I have been having one of those since I was twelve. I am in rather uncharted territory, as mentioned absolutely nobody expected me to make it this far, but with a few exceptions I am from a rather conventional family. Both my brothers and all my cousins have got married and had children, it was clearly what was expected from me as well and once again I have proven to be something of a disappointment. In fact I feel even more detached and distant than ever before. My father called me when I eventually got home last night to wish me Happy Birthday - He was in Brazil when I was born. He and my Mother and Uncle had all been out in Spain celebrating my birthday, (its also a pretty big day in Spain, being the Epiphany). I asked him, you all went out without me and he replied, "of course. We always celebrate your birthday and your never with us". For the record I haven't been at home on my birthday since I was fourteen. It was typical for me also, spending my time in strange pubs and bars talking to people I don't know - still flirted heavily with three women, including one extremely exotic Indian girl. The Stalker wasn't around, which I am glad about as she managed to screw up Christmas and New Year for me. No doubt she will guess I have been drinking and give me a hard time for it later. She clearly has decided that as she has invested so much of her time and energy in me - I better produce results and quickly. It's kind of like going out with a tougher, female version of the drill instructor from the movie, "An Officer And A Gentleman".
So what have I learned over this year? Nothing, I guess. If I am honest I feel even more isolated than I did this time last year. I am aware that only I can improve my life and that I keep on making the same mistakes but I seem to have adopted the attitude that sayings like that are as serious as the rules on a swimming pool wall, (you know; no petting, no water bombing, etc). Compared to me, the Stalker is a virtual self-help book. Actually, often talking to her does feel like some Tony Robbins, conference at times. I imagine its because due to her medical problems she approaches life with an urgency, I just can't seem to muster. Deep down I still don't believe I am going to die. Anyway - that was it for another year, Like the Stones I keep on rolling and am once again planning a world tour. I don't make New Years resolutions, but this year, which maybe my last, (just, like for all of us), I have plans to shake this semi-comatose life style, Its about time I did something rather than be "full of promise". No one should still be full of undiscovered promise at forty one.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Street Fighting Man - From the fantastic Beggars Banquet record. Long before the Stones were the biggest corporate entertainment the world has ever seen. Even a true believer like me is beginning to wonder just how contrived Keith is. At least Jagger is fairly obvious in his naked ambition and greed. Still a great band and still one I would buy tickets to see but I wonder when you exchange the fire and vitriol for packaged excess? The Rolling Stones are who U2 want to be when they grow up.
Wonderwall - I was never an Oasis fan, in fact the whole Britpop scene passed me by, as you can tell from my blog, I live far too much in the past. The first time I heard this song was in a bar in London, after a heavy night. It was about ten in the morning and only the hardcore drunks were fuelling their addiction. There were some drunks out in the street, and I remember thinking that apart from the glass window separating the bums in the street from me in the pub, there wasn't much difference between us. The next time I heard it was in a bar in Bow Lane on a busy winter evening when the packed bar spontaneously started singing along.
I Might Have Been Queen - What is it about Tina?. Maybe its her stage presence and her serious voice, maybe its because she finally decided, "Hey Ike touch me one more time and I'll fuck you up". Who Knows? This song is from Private Dancer one of my all time favourite albums. The meaning is quite feminine I guess, I am sure the Stalker would have more understanding than me. Maybe not, The Stalker is from a very rich family, this seems to be more about someone breaking out of the poor life and reinventing themselves - Far more my territory.
True Faith - Everyone talks about Blue Monday, but this is the best New Order track. I don't have much to say about this song, I just feel it applies to me in a way that I don't really understand.
Won't Get Fooled Again - The Who at their very best. I love this song, but can't help feeling that The Who are a band that can't quite be captured in recordings. The Original Who should have been seen live. It isn't just the extraordinary musicianship and the crushing volume, but more the simmering tension of the band members. This song reminds me of Indonesia in Ninety Seven, a time and place I still have a lot of unresolved feelings about. I also feel the same about one of my favourite books, "A Tale Of Two Cities", for some reason it reminds me of Indo in ninety seven.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Yesterdays Booze: A Lot
Yesterdays Soundtrack: Music To stomp your feet to
No work yesterday, just had to see another doctor in a place called Reading, (no offence, but it looks like someone built a town in the middle of a large industrial estate).
So it was my birthday, I am an old man now, forty one - screw you to the people who said I'll never make it past twenty seven, except my mum and dad - seems ungrateful saying screw you to your parents on your birthday. So now I am in my forties, I have to ask - what next? A mid-life crisis seems sort of redundant for me, I have been having one of those since I was twelve. I am in rather uncharted territory, as mentioned absolutely nobody expected me to make it this far, but with a few exceptions I am from a rather conventional family. Both my brothers and all my cousins have got married and had children, it was clearly what was expected from me as well and once again I have proven to be something of a disappointment. In fact I feel even more detached and distant than ever before. My father called me when I eventually got home last night to wish me Happy Birthday - He was in Brazil when I was born. He and my Mother and Uncle had all been out in Spain celebrating my birthday, (its also a pretty big day in Spain, being the Epiphany). I asked him, you all went out without me and he replied, "of course. We always celebrate your birthday and your never with us". For the record I haven't been at home on my birthday since I was fourteen. It was typical for me also, spending my time in strange pubs and bars talking to people I don't know - still flirted heavily with three women, including one extremely exotic Indian girl. The Stalker wasn't around, which I am glad about as she managed to screw up Christmas and New Year for me. No doubt she will guess I have been drinking and give me a hard time for it later. She clearly has decided that as she has invested so much of her time and energy in me - I better produce results and quickly. It's kind of like going out with a tougher, female version of the drill instructor from the movie, "An Officer And A Gentleman".
So what have I learned over this year? Nothing, I guess. If I am honest I feel even more isolated than I did this time last year. I am aware that only I can improve my life and that I keep on making the same mistakes but I seem to have adopted the attitude that sayings like that are as serious as the rules on a swimming pool wall, (you know; no petting, no water bombing, etc). Compared to me, the Stalker is a virtual self-help book. Actually, often talking to her does feel like some Tony Robbins, conference at times. I imagine its because due to her medical problems she approaches life with an urgency, I just can't seem to muster. Deep down I still don't believe I am going to die. Anyway - that was it for another year, Like the Stones I keep on rolling and am once again planning a world tour. I don't make New Years resolutions, but this year, which maybe my last, (just, like for all of us), I have plans to shake this semi-comatose life style, Its about time I did something rather than be "full of promise". No one should still be full of undiscovered promise at forty one.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Street Fighting Man - From the fantastic Beggars Banquet record. Long before the Stones were the biggest corporate entertainment the world has ever seen. Even a true believer like me is beginning to wonder just how contrived Keith is. At least Jagger is fairly obvious in his naked ambition and greed. Still a great band and still one I would buy tickets to see but I wonder when you exchange the fire and vitriol for packaged excess? The Rolling Stones are who U2 want to be when they grow up.
Wonderwall - I was never an Oasis fan, in fact the whole Britpop scene passed me by, as you can tell from my blog, I live far too much in the past. The first time I heard this song was in a bar in London, after a heavy night. It was about ten in the morning and only the hardcore drunks were fuelling their addiction. There were some drunks out in the street, and I remember thinking that apart from the glass window separating the bums in the street from me in the pub, there wasn't much difference between us. The next time I heard it was in a bar in Bow Lane on a busy winter evening when the packed bar spontaneously started singing along.
I Might Have Been Queen - What is it about Tina?. Maybe its her stage presence and her serious voice, maybe its because she finally decided, "Hey Ike touch me one more time and I'll fuck you up". Who Knows? This song is from Private Dancer one of my all time favourite albums. The meaning is quite feminine I guess, I am sure the Stalker would have more understanding than me. Maybe not, The Stalker is from a very rich family, this seems to be more about someone breaking out of the poor life and reinventing themselves - Far more my territory.
True Faith - Everyone talks about Blue Monday, but this is the best New Order track. I don't have much to say about this song, I just feel it applies to me in a way that I don't really understand.
Won't Get Fooled Again - The Who at their very best. I love this song, but can't help feeling that The Who are a band that can't quite be captured in recordings. The Original Who should have been seen live. It isn't just the extraordinary musicianship and the crushing volume, but more the simmering tension of the band members. This song reminds me of Indonesia in Ninety Seven, a time and place I still have a lot of unresolved feelings about. I also feel the same about one of my favourite books, "A Tale Of Two Cities", for some reason it reminds me of Indo in ninety seven.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Saturday, 11 December 2010
Was it Worth It?
Today's P&L: 0.00 GBP
Today's Booze: 6 pints of Kronenbourg 1664
Today's Soundtrack: Music to burn flags to
Bernanke was in the news saying that more quantative easing may be the answer to the stubborn jobless situation in the US. He assured us all that providing further liquidity isn't the same as printing money - So that is a buy signal for gold then. If the US wants to employ more people it has to restart industry there is no real alternative. It should make for a boost in the DOW30 and S&P500 though. The market perception is that this money will feed through into the economy, unlike the earlier program. It is rubbish, of course. The plan is for the US to buy six hundred billion dollars of government bills from the banking sector which should encourage economic activity. This will increase stock and commodity prices. Of course it will increase inflationary pressures. So that's the solution to the US economy. Issue debt sell it to banks and then in order to protect the banks purchase the paper back from the banks and how does the US government pay for the debt it buys, by issuing more debt. The global economy is becoming more like a very dangerous game of pass the parcel.
I was looking at the pictures of the Princess on her facebook page the other day. Her wedding looks like quite the high dollar event. Made the Thai newspapers and was held at the Oriental, probably one of the most expensive places in Asia to get married. she looked fantastic of course but I can't help feeling how much better it would have been if she had married me - I would have lowered the tone somewhat. Not that I am especially low class. Just, there would be no way I would get married sober. I doubt that many of my friends would have fitted in, just a couple of them but I would have had to invite them anyway. I imagine she knew all along that we wouldn't get married, even though we were engaged. In her social group it is customary for the the man to give a dowry to the brides father, the number she indicated to me was rather daunting even though I was quite wealthy then. She told me not to worry, what would happen is that her guardian would give the money to her and that she would give it back to me - even so. The Princess was such a nice and even tempered girl, I can count the times I upset her on one hand, I made her cry a few more times but that was mainly because of injuries I started picking up. Before then I had always been in top condition. I don't think we would have been happy married though. She didn't drink and was such a girly girl whereas the women I had more intense relationships with were far more similar to me, unreasonable, jealous, angry and just a little out of control. Most of my girlfriends have been far too good for me, but the Princess was probably the one who compromised herself most by being with me.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Rock The Casbah - One of my favourite Clash songs along with London Calling. Seventies punks dissect middle-eastern politics, well they couldn't do a worse job than Tony Blair.
Games Without Frontiers - I was just a child when this song hit the charts but it was still significant, even back then I was aware of the ebbs and flows of politics. My parents had taken me to a few third world countries.
The Lebanon - What can I say, I am an eighties boy and I have always loved The Human League, Beirut is one of those places I have never been, (I tend to avoid the middle east in general - better for them, better for me), but this is a great song about a tragic situation. I used to work with a woman who had worked for an American bank in Beirut and she told me lots of stories about the missile attacks and the bomb shelters in the basement.
Going Underground - The Jam. This band were a key part of my youth in the late seventies/early eighties. Paul Weller may be a bit of a twat and I have heard he is quite difficult to work with but he writes some damn good songs. "I turn in the news and my body froze, The braying sheep on my TV screen, Make this boy shout, make this boy scream, Going Underground, I'm going underground"
Living In This Town - "Why throw a dollar to a hungry man" Havana 3am should have been a great band but Paul Simonen is, if anything inconsistent, think he is a painter now. In Seventies UK he was one of the coolest people on the planet
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Today's Booze: 6 pints of Kronenbourg 1664
Today's Soundtrack: Music to burn flags to
Bernanke was in the news saying that more quantative easing may be the answer to the stubborn jobless situation in the US. He assured us all that providing further liquidity isn't the same as printing money - So that is a buy signal for gold then. If the US wants to employ more people it has to restart industry there is no real alternative. It should make for a boost in the DOW30 and S&P500 though. The market perception is that this money will feed through into the economy, unlike the earlier program. It is rubbish, of course. The plan is for the US to buy six hundred billion dollars of government bills from the banking sector which should encourage economic activity. This will increase stock and commodity prices. Of course it will increase inflationary pressures. So that's the solution to the US economy. Issue debt sell it to banks and then in order to protect the banks purchase the paper back from the banks and how does the US government pay for the debt it buys, by issuing more debt. The global economy is becoming more like a very dangerous game of pass the parcel.
I was looking at the pictures of the Princess on her facebook page the other day. Her wedding looks like quite the high dollar event. Made the Thai newspapers and was held at the Oriental, probably one of the most expensive places in Asia to get married. she looked fantastic of course but I can't help feeling how much better it would have been if she had married me - I would have lowered the tone somewhat. Not that I am especially low class. Just, there would be no way I would get married sober. I doubt that many of my friends would have fitted in, just a couple of them but I would have had to invite them anyway. I imagine she knew all along that we wouldn't get married, even though we were engaged. In her social group it is customary for the the man to give a dowry to the brides father, the number she indicated to me was rather daunting even though I was quite wealthy then. She told me not to worry, what would happen is that her guardian would give the money to her and that she would give it back to me - even so. The Princess was such a nice and even tempered girl, I can count the times I upset her on one hand, I made her cry a few more times but that was mainly because of injuries I started picking up. Before then I had always been in top condition. I don't think we would have been happy married though. She didn't drink and was such a girly girl whereas the women I had more intense relationships with were far more similar to me, unreasonable, jealous, angry and just a little out of control. Most of my girlfriends have been far too good for me, but the Princess was probably the one who compromised herself most by being with me.
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Rock The Casbah - One of my favourite Clash songs along with London Calling. Seventies punks dissect middle-eastern politics, well they couldn't do a worse job than Tony Blair.
Games Without Frontiers - I was just a child when this song hit the charts but it was still significant, even back then I was aware of the ebbs and flows of politics. My parents had taken me to a few third world countries.
The Lebanon - What can I say, I am an eighties boy and I have always loved The Human League, Beirut is one of those places I have never been, (I tend to avoid the middle east in general - better for them, better for me), but this is a great song about a tragic situation. I used to work with a woman who had worked for an American bank in Beirut and she told me lots of stories about the missile attacks and the bomb shelters in the basement.
Going Underground - The Jam. This band were a key part of my youth in the late seventies/early eighties. Paul Weller may be a bit of a twat and I have heard he is quite difficult to work with but he writes some damn good songs. "I turn in the news and my body froze, The braying sheep on my TV screen, Make this boy shout, make this boy scream, Going Underground, I'm going underground"
Living In This Town - "Why throw a dollar to a hungry man" Havana 3am should have been a great band but Paul Simonen is, if anything inconsistent, think he is a painter now. In Seventies UK he was one of the coolest people on the planet
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Sunday, 28 November 2010
The Stalker And I
Today's P&L: No markets today
Today's Booze: 2 pints of lager, 3 large glasses of red wine
Today's Soundtrack: Music to remember your past to
If any one's interested, I feel like talking about my relationship with the Stalker today. I don't really remember the date I met her although she remembers of course. It was about twenty years ago I guess, around about this time of year, in fact it was a freezing evening and the place was somewhere between Oxford Street and Regent Street. I was drinking a quad Rum and I met her relative, A very sexy but seriously out of control woman. I shared a few drinks with her while she sized me up and decided I wasn't for her but would be suitable for the Stalker. She disappeared for a while and the barman, some Italian guy who clearly thought too much of himself, laughed at me and said she won't come back. I didn't mind as my intention was drinking. However the girl did return with The Stalker. And that's where our relationship began.
The Stalker wasn't like any other woman I had met before. She is the oldest of eleven children and naturally quite assertive. I didn't have any idea how rich she was as true to my character I didn't really ask her too much about her background although in retrospect I should have wondered how come she spent so much money on restaurants and holidays. We had a lot of fun though, back then she used to be fun. She also wasn't easy, she had made some promise to her father that she wouldn't have sex until she was twenty one, so I had to wait but it was worth it. The problem was I treated our relationship like all the other ones I had been in while she was a little more serious. I still remember when she decided enough was enough and she came to my house. She said to me the usual break up bollocks. I hadn't seen it coming, so was somewhat surprised But I still remember saying to her just before she walked out. "fancy having one last fuck for old times sake" - not exactly Clark Gable. Anyway she just walked out and I didn't see her again for nearly five years. Apart from one brief encounter in sometime around ninety four, I guess that was her last fling before getting married.
That next time I saw her I had been in Indonesia and following the riots and the near civil war left the Lunatic behind, I like to spread the disappointment. Actually it wasn't so bad, I did offer the Lunatic the chance to escape with me but it was never going to happen her family had lots of money and had a plane to fly them to Singapore. I went out for a drink or two with the Stalker in the West End, By then I had not worked for some time but managed to get some consultancy work. I never heard from the Stalker again But The Lunatic used to phone me for about three hours almost every night.
Anyway, I made a bit of money and decided to go back to visit the Lunatic. It was one of those dramatic fly by night gestures that I am inclined to make. I arranged to finish my contract and flew from New York to Bangkok then down to Singapore and then Indonesia, it was her birthday so it seemed like the right thing to do although it cost me plenty of money. Anyway this isn't about the Lunatic, that story has a post all of its own. After a few years and a couple of major injuries The Lunatic and I finally separated permanently. Anyway I then managed to get some more consultancy work in London and that's where I met the Princess. The Princess is unusual in my history of women by being ten years younger than me. She was studying in London and working in a restaurant I visited three or four times a week. She knew I was going back to live in Bangkok but as usual I didn't ask a great deal about her background. Turned out she was quite the society girl and surprise, surprise I am not the ideal son in law. Anyway, her and I had a reasonable relationship for a few years until I got injured quite severely. Initially I thought I would get my legs fixed and be back in a few months so I paid for my apartment for another year. My injuries were much worse and after a while she moved to Tokyo and found someone else.
The end of the story is after my brother urged me to open a facebook account so I could maintain contact with him. The Stalker came across my name, and got in touch with me. At first I didn't think it was her, but after a while we arranged to meet on my birthday. I didn't turn up as I thought she wasn't serious, and after all those years and I knew she had been married, so she tried again and we met up at Waterloo Station. It is so odd seeing someone you know so well after so many years. After all that time we were both the same, she and I flirted a little and spoke as if we were two caged animals circling each other. Of course things have changed, Don't they always? She and I have both experienced so much in our time apart. And we are both so screwed up. The funny thing is to me, even though she can see how broken down I am, to me she looks almost exactly the same as she did when she was twenty. The only difference is the look in her eyes, she has been told she was dying twice, three times for me so I am the winner there. The difference between her and I is that she always fights, but I am just tired of it all.
Its quite funny, even after all these years and in our reduced circumstances, we still get along at least some of the time. I know she hates me but that's healthy enough, I can't stand all this we are not just husband and wife but best friends crap. We don't need to be best friends, and it really is better that way. She has a whole other life with her friends, they do and talk about things I am less than interested in. So she met up with me after I had seen the doctor. For once it was good news, unexpectedly she said my blood levels had almost returned to normal, just clotting remains an issue. My knee is fucked but she gave me an x-ray appointment for that. I am not so worried about broken bones, that's a pain I am used to. The Stalker looked great when she turned up. She rarely wears make-up when meeting me But she had been out with some friends and she looked fantastic. I was talking to three girls when she arrived but she wasn't too bothered, she knows I don't go for blondes anyway. Anyway we went and got something to eat and had a good night, so much so she returned two days later for a rematch. I still love it when she tells me how much she hates me, don't know what she gets out of it. In an interlude she told me that so far every member of my family that she has met has warned her about me and my father even described me as a liability - Bastard!
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Missing You - John Waite. A great song for us eighties boys. "I spend my time thinking about you, and its almost driving me wild". This song is about every ended relationship. When I was young I used to pretend it didn't matter to me when I stopped seeing a girl. Nowadays I really don't give a fuck, but how come the major relationships I have had keep coming back to haunt me?
I Drove All Night - Have you ever done it? Have you ever travelled a distance to tell a girl how you felt. Doesn't matter if she lives across town or in another continent. There is this feeling you get when you do it, like hey, I am putting it on the line, taking control of my situation. Doesn't matter if you get there and she isn't interested. Every man should risk looking stupid to express his feelings at least once in his life.
I Would Die 4 U - Prince never got better than on Purple Rain and 1999 if you ask me, although Sign 'o' The Times was good. This is a song about loving someone too much, but how much is too much? Good rule of thumb is if she takes out a restraining order, it's too much.
If You Were Here Tonight - The Italian loved this song by Alexander O'Neal. Nothing works out the way you plan it in my dysfunctional world. I guess if I am honest, I would have liked things to be different but I can't really see how things would have worked out if I had been more conventional.
Always On My Mind - "Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could, Little things I could have said and did - but I never took the time". This song kind of sums up all my relationships with women.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Today's Booze: 2 pints of lager, 3 large glasses of red wine
Today's Soundtrack: Music to remember your past to
If any one's interested, I feel like talking about my relationship with the Stalker today. I don't really remember the date I met her although she remembers of course. It was about twenty years ago I guess, around about this time of year, in fact it was a freezing evening and the place was somewhere between Oxford Street and Regent Street. I was drinking a quad Rum and I met her relative, A very sexy but seriously out of control woman. I shared a few drinks with her while she sized me up and decided I wasn't for her but would be suitable for the Stalker. She disappeared for a while and the barman, some Italian guy who clearly thought too much of himself, laughed at me and said she won't come back. I didn't mind as my intention was drinking. However the girl did return with The Stalker. And that's where our relationship began.
The Stalker wasn't like any other woman I had met before. She is the oldest of eleven children and naturally quite assertive. I didn't have any idea how rich she was as true to my character I didn't really ask her too much about her background although in retrospect I should have wondered how come she spent so much money on restaurants and holidays. We had a lot of fun though, back then she used to be fun. She also wasn't easy, she had made some promise to her father that she wouldn't have sex until she was twenty one, so I had to wait but it was worth it. The problem was I treated our relationship like all the other ones I had been in while she was a little more serious. I still remember when she decided enough was enough and she came to my house. She said to me the usual break up bollocks. I hadn't seen it coming, so was somewhat surprised But I still remember saying to her just before she walked out. "fancy having one last fuck for old times sake" - not exactly Clark Gable. Anyway she just walked out and I didn't see her again for nearly five years. Apart from one brief encounter in sometime around ninety four, I guess that was her last fling before getting married.
That next time I saw her I had been in Indonesia and following the riots and the near civil war left the Lunatic behind, I like to spread the disappointment. Actually it wasn't so bad, I did offer the Lunatic the chance to escape with me but it was never going to happen her family had lots of money and had a plane to fly them to Singapore. I went out for a drink or two with the Stalker in the West End, By then I had not worked for some time but managed to get some consultancy work. I never heard from the Stalker again But The Lunatic used to phone me for about three hours almost every night.
Anyway, I made a bit of money and decided to go back to visit the Lunatic. It was one of those dramatic fly by night gestures that I am inclined to make. I arranged to finish my contract and flew from New York to Bangkok then down to Singapore and then Indonesia, it was her birthday so it seemed like the right thing to do although it cost me plenty of money. Anyway this isn't about the Lunatic, that story has a post all of its own. After a few years and a couple of major injuries The Lunatic and I finally separated permanently. Anyway I then managed to get some more consultancy work in London and that's where I met the Princess. The Princess is unusual in my history of women by being ten years younger than me. She was studying in London and working in a restaurant I visited three or four times a week. She knew I was going back to live in Bangkok but as usual I didn't ask a great deal about her background. Turned out she was quite the society girl and surprise, surprise I am not the ideal son in law. Anyway, her and I had a reasonable relationship for a few years until I got injured quite severely. Initially I thought I would get my legs fixed and be back in a few months so I paid for my apartment for another year. My injuries were much worse and after a while she moved to Tokyo and found someone else.
The end of the story is after my brother urged me to open a facebook account so I could maintain contact with him. The Stalker came across my name, and got in touch with me. At first I didn't think it was her, but after a while we arranged to meet on my birthday. I didn't turn up as I thought she wasn't serious, and after all those years and I knew she had been married, so she tried again and we met up at Waterloo Station. It is so odd seeing someone you know so well after so many years. After all that time we were both the same, she and I flirted a little and spoke as if we were two caged animals circling each other. Of course things have changed, Don't they always? She and I have both experienced so much in our time apart. And we are both so screwed up. The funny thing is to me, even though she can see how broken down I am, to me she looks almost exactly the same as she did when she was twenty. The only difference is the look in her eyes, she has been told she was dying twice, three times for me so I am the winner there. The difference between her and I is that she always fights, but I am just tired of it all.
Its quite funny, even after all these years and in our reduced circumstances, we still get along at least some of the time. I know she hates me but that's healthy enough, I can't stand all this we are not just husband and wife but best friends crap. We don't need to be best friends, and it really is better that way. She has a whole other life with her friends, they do and talk about things I am less than interested in. So she met up with me after I had seen the doctor. For once it was good news, unexpectedly she said my blood levels had almost returned to normal, just clotting remains an issue. My knee is fucked but she gave me an x-ray appointment for that. I am not so worried about broken bones, that's a pain I am used to. The Stalker looked great when she turned up. She rarely wears make-up when meeting me But she had been out with some friends and she looked fantastic. I was talking to three girls when she arrived but she wasn't too bothered, she knows I don't go for blondes anyway. Anyway we went and got something to eat and had a good night, so much so she returned two days later for a rematch. I still love it when she tells me how much she hates me, don't know what she gets out of it. In an interlude she told me that so far every member of my family that she has met has warned her about me and my father even described me as a liability - Bastard!
Today's music, my top five tracks:
Missing You - John Waite. A great song for us eighties boys. "I spend my time thinking about you, and its almost driving me wild". This song is about every ended relationship. When I was young I used to pretend it didn't matter to me when I stopped seeing a girl. Nowadays I really don't give a fuck, but how come the major relationships I have had keep coming back to haunt me?
I Drove All Night - Have you ever done it? Have you ever travelled a distance to tell a girl how you felt. Doesn't matter if she lives across town or in another continent. There is this feeling you get when you do it, like hey, I am putting it on the line, taking control of my situation. Doesn't matter if you get there and she isn't interested. Every man should risk looking stupid to express his feelings at least once in his life.
I Would Die 4 U - Prince never got better than on Purple Rain and 1999 if you ask me, although Sign 'o' The Times was good. This is a song about loving someone too much, but how much is too much? Good rule of thumb is if she takes out a restraining order, it's too much.
If You Were Here Tonight - The Italian loved this song by Alexander O'Neal. Nothing works out the way you plan it in my dysfunctional world. I guess if I am honest, I would have liked things to be different but I can't really see how things would have worked out if I had been more conventional.
Always On My Mind - "Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could, Little things I could have said and did - but I never took the time". This song kind of sums up all my relationships with women.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
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