Today's P&L: GBP -260.00
Today's Booze: 1 litre of Patron XO Tequila, 2 pints of cider
Today's Soundtrack: Nothing
Ever stood on the ledge of a high building and wandered what it would be like just to let go? I did that a few times when I still had decent co-ordination. forty two floors is very beguiling, you almost feel like you could fly. I wouldn't do it now of course it would be almost certain suicide and we all know what Catholics think about suicide. I did a few DAX30 trades today but my heart wasn't in it. Despite my better instincts I am really worried about The Stalker, I would have laid odds on me dying before her but she is in really bad shape. I can't go and visit her because of her ongoing divorce and I wouldn't want to cause a scene. It just seems so unfair she is a really good person and her cancer wasn't caused by self-abuse like mine. She doesn't believe in God and seeing as I believe in Extra Ecclesiam Nulla Salus, I am worried we will never see each other again. Its ironic after all these years apart we finally meet up again only to be denied by our health. I don't regret all the things I did when I wasn't with her and I am sure she doesn't regret her life either. But no matter how far apart we go, we always seem to find one another. I don't care that she isn't as good looking as she was when she was twenty, even I don't look like I did back then, although I have changed less than her. The biggest difference between her then and now is she was so naive then now she is quite jaded. I remember when she asked me what my middle name was and I told her I couldn't afford one. "What do you mean" she asked and I told her that London was so overcrowded that if you had a middle name you had to pay a tax to have your extra name listed in the telephone directory. She accepted this and I forgot all about it until we were at a dinner party about a year later and this guy with four middle names told her his full name and she asked him "oh it must cost you a lot to pay for the telephone book". for about a second I couldn't work out what she was talking about then I spluttered the wine I was drinking as I realised what she meant. Back then I was even more of an asshole than I am now. I remember arranging to meet her at a bar in Leicester Square and going out with a broker instead I phoned the bar after an hour past when I should have met her and said is there an asian girl there drinking margaritas by herself the bar tender said yes so I said tell her I will be there soon, I turned up five hours later and she was still waiting but she wasn't very pleased.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
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4 comments:
Man, you were an asshole. I wouldn't have been waiting there! Maybe that's what you like about her: that she would be there?
I don't wonder what it would be like to jump off a building because when young I fell out of a tree. It did feel like flying for a bit. Then I hit the ground. And broke my wrist. Go hang gliding instead ;)
I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to jump. I've never stood on the ledge, because without a doubt I would fall off by accident. But there are times when I'm sitting at my desk, staring at the big window, wondering. Perhaps that's why they keep the windows locked. I would never do it though. I don't have the guts. Plus I still want to have babies.
The Stalker must be crazy and completely in love with you to have waited five hours. That's just insane.
Wow the poor girl I would have left after 20 minutes! I did laugh at the London comment though!
Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com
Hey Toni: I don't see a link to your email. If you still want to participate in the secret santa blogger, drop me a line at lifebeginsat30ty@gmail.com!
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