Thursday, 20 May 2010

Since when was any of this negotiable?

Today's P&L: GBP 450.00

Today's Booze: One bottle of Rioja

Today's Soundtrack: Movies

Kind of a nothing day for me today. My parents are still loitering around, interfering with my trading. Of course I love them, but I would never tell them so. They have both registered as emergency liver donors for me, which I can't stand. Firstly because my mother is in her sixties and my dad his early seventies and too much time has passed for us to suddenly be the close family, also no one has actually said I need a transplant yet. In addition, I have a rare blood group I share with my father but left some anti-bodies in my mothers blood which have given her health issues since I was born. It is kind of weird having them around after all this time. The old man clearly knows that I have just lived life to excess but my mother seems heart-broken by the suffering. I keep telling her it doesn't hurt as much as it looks but she remains unconvinced. As far as I am concerned I wish I was rich when I had seen them - If this is the last time we ever meet, I would have liked to give them some serious cash to enjoy themselves.

The markets recovered from the sell-off in Euro assets yesterday, so I will be looking for an oportunity to sell tomorrow but to be honest my heart isn't in trading just now. My parents suck the life out of me - I resent all this babying me around.

During a listless trading day I didn't really listen to much music but instead watched the movie Collateral for what must be the hundredth time. I have kind of a Catcher In The Rye thing going with this movie. Maybe it's because my parents are around and the Tom Cruise character reveals nothing about his past life. Would I really like to be as dismally empty as he is in this movie? Often I think I would but then I think of my brother, his family and even my parents. No matter what, though, the final scene when Cruise is shot and sits down and says to Jamie Foxx "Guy gets on the subway and dies. Think anybody'll notice? " gets me every time. If I am to die I don't want people who care about me to see it. I would rather be like a dog and find a quiet place to die alone. I know its not what my parents want, but they have already come to terms with the very real liklihood that I will die before them.

In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!

4 comments:

Jenny DB said...

so hard for parents to see their children die before them though ... yikes. i do love collateral - great movie.

Toni said...

Thanks for your comment Jenny, Like I say my parents are prepared but I can tell they don't really believe I will die - I have always seemed so indestructible. Collateral is a fantastic movie, who would have thought Tom Cruise could play the bad guy so well.

Mary Jane said...

Wow 2 posts in a week, haven't had that from you in awhile. Hope you and the stalker get well soon. 42kg is a lot.

Anonymous said...

Dear Tony,
I am having a similar parental experience to you plus I am pretty much the same age as you then yesterday I remembered an episode of Frazier, probably one of the ones at the beginning, where he has just moved back to live with his family and is trying to be a good son but just finds his father incredibly annoying. I think part of growing up is learning to view parents with compassion and trying to treat them well while keeping your own identity intact. It is quite a difficult balancing act sometimes because they can be very annoying and all you want to do is run and have your own freedom. I think the struggle is worth it though- they are there for you when most people aren't and that is a big thing. In my own experience, opening up and being honest about who you are is the first step- they usually understand and appreciate that. It allows you to be who you are and you can build on that.
Anon