Today's P&L: GBP -60.00
Today's Booze: 1 bottle of rioja, 8 pints of Kronenbourg 1664.
Today's Soundtrack: Various
So I got my assignment from the blogging Santa who doesn't live at the North Pole but resides on the blog of lifebegins@30ty. my assigned questions were:
1. Write about the relationship between sex and love.
2. Most embarrassing sexual experience.
3. What sort of kink do you draw the line at?
I decided to write about the first, because I am deep like that, (but anyone who wants to hear my answers to the other questions just ask).
The relationship between love and sex? I could cover that easily - Sex is fun, Love hurts. But I suppose I should go into it in more depth. There is no point in denying it we first get in to a relationship because we are physically attracted to someone. That part in a relationship is the best part the whole teasing thing you do where you get a girl just about ready to boil over then decide you have to catch the last train home or whatever. The Lunatic was a sucker for that but she got her own back. Sex is great at first but for men it can become something of a chore, most men won't admit it but after a while you do it because she wants it and you are a pussy if you don't fulfil her needs, even if there is an important game on the box. The Stalker once recognised the extreme pain I was in while making love to her and afterwards said you didn't really want to have sex did you? Naturally I laughed it off and said of course I did and whispered sweet nothings into her ear. And why? Because deep down I suppose I love her. Its hard to say because most of the time we hate each other but we always seem to end up with each other. I know her life would be far better if she had nothing to do with me and my life would certainly be less hassle but we always seem to find each other. You would think on a planet of six billion people we could escape , but it never happens. Is it love or fate or destiny - who knows? Like I say sex is easy but love is hard, its kind of like the US invasion of Iraq - the sex bit was the initial rush to Baghdad when everything seems so easy the love bit is like maintaining the presence there. A long painful process that involves pain on both sides. I don't mean to trivialise war but you know what I mean. I guess at the end of the day I am no expert on love as I even dislike myself but I do know I could have sex with someone I didn't love but I could never love someone I didn't have sex with, not including family of course. This isn't the Pit Cairns.
Trading was annoyingly difficult today I made a few hundred on the dollar / Yen trade which finally broke Eighty five but lost more on a silly long position on the DAX30.
Today I was listening to lots of different artists. The top five songs I listened to:
Chasing Cars - maybe it was the questions about love, but this song struck a chord in me today. "Those three words are said too much, but not enough". I know its cheesy but, even I feel lonely sometimes, no forget that I am alone never lonely.
Sunshine - Gabrielle is such a good singer, and went to school not too far away on Telegraph Hill. Sunshine is such an optimistic song for me, "Made a wish, I can dream I can be what I want to be". I suppose no one lives in the kind of isolation I would prefer. The Stalker wants a child even though we are both in bad shape, my brother said doesn't matter if you both die I will look after your baby as if it was my own.
The Name of The Game - Abba, I have a softspot for Abba, this song I have a connection with. I spent all my time in relationships building a wall, trying to show I don't care.
Hounds of Love - Kate Bush is another artist I love. Hounds of Love with its delightfully retro 39 steps video is one of her best. I love the line "I have always been a coward and I don't know what's good for me". Maybe something changed me from when I was a child, maybe I was a pussy I don't remember much before my first brain injury, just snatches. Maybe I was one of those scared kids and that's why I feel I have to prove myself, by being as daring as I can.
Drive - The Cars finest moment. Most people in this country remember it from Live Aid and the heartbreaking video attached to it. I have been to West Africa and the slums of Asia and have seen enough poverty and suffering to last a life time, I may talk about that in another post. For this one I just think about the song, which in my mind is forever linked to the Lunatic. "Who's going to tell you when its too late, Who's going to tell you when things aren't so great". Apart from the Stalker the lunatic was the closest I ever got to marriage, we even brought a massive diamond ring. It was another one of those relationships where you either hate each other or love each other. The only times we were not fucking or drinking we were fighting, it was one of those relationships that is like being addicted to crack cocaine, you know it is killing you but you go back for more. I have heard she is far more normal without me in her life, but even the sound of her voice makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
Interesting post, i enjoyed reading your perspective. So at what point does sex become more chore like with a woman you love?
Firstly, 8 pints!? Holy cow.
Second, thanks for participating. I'm really glad you did because that was an excellent post. I still would have hit you for leaving at the last train! That's interesting what you say about sex getting boring. Mostly it's women I've heard that from! It seems any time you have sex with someone long term it's going to get boring unless you get creative. And sometimes you don't feel like it and they do. Sometimes you'd rather watch tv. He.
I've also heard that guys show love through sex. Do you think that's true?
Thanks for the encouraging words ladies. I guess I should have pointed out that not every guy is as shallow as me and I am sure your boyfriends are nothing like me. And for any guys that are reading this thinking "shut the fuck up man, your ruining it for all of us", I apologise. In my limited experience, after you've had sex with a girl ten times or more you pretty much know every inch of her body and pretty much how she will respond to you every time so you can either get real lazy or you can start experimenting, to see what you can get away with. Most short-term relationships end quickly enough so that you don't get into that situation and it really only happens with girls you have a deep relationship with. Like I say that's just me - were not all the same.
your post about love reminds me about def leppard's song 'love bites'. its dark and seems all intertwined with pain and being in some kind of agony - the whole love/hate deal.
very raw and honest. i love it.
ps - it was news to me too, the sex being a chore bit. i believed till i read your post, only women felt that way. (though personally, i never have.. probably never been in a relationship long enough for those feelings to develop :p)
"Sex is great at first but for men it can become something of a chore, most men won't admit it but after a while you do it because she wants it and you are a pussy if you don't fulfil her needs, even if there is an important game on the box." - now this "worries" me slightly... hmm i wonder if that's what the boyfriend is feeling...
I think I should add to the discussion that the best sex I've ever had was six years into a relationship. I'd say that sometimes even the woman/man doesn't know what makes them tick until her and the partner have done enough experimenting to figure it out!
Best Kate Bush song...."This Woman's Work".
Awesome.
Interesting answer. I wonder if men and women perceive the relationship between love and sex different, or if it just depends on experiences that have happened in your life.
Lots to agree with there, Broseph Stalin.
It's a strange day in a man's life when he realizes that women are actually the ones crazed about the act of sex, while men mostly just want to bang new chicks. I've found myself having sex before- with a beautiful girl, too- and thinking "How long do I have to give her before I'm done?"
Also, I've theorized that the difference between men and women is that men can sleep with someone they hate. Chew on that.
Caleb
Hey, just had to share my two pennyworth - in all my relationships, I've always pretended I wanted sex for the bloke's sake, when I actually didn't give a toss about it and would actually have sooner not bothered!!! How ironic if he felt like you and was doing the exact same thing, thinking he was having sex for my sake and because I wanted it :-)
And that tease-and-denial thing sounds hot, but I can't think of a single moment in my life when it would have bothered me one way or the other if the guy had stopped doing what he was doing and gone home. At most I'd have thought 'meh, whatever' - most of the time, I'd have thought 'thank fuck for that' :-)
Juliette x
Jo, I should point out I have a strange view of sex, having grown up in a very male dominated environment. In fact my fathers idea of a birds and bees talk was taking me to a bar.brothel when I was thirteen or fourteen. I am sure your boyfriend is much more grounded than me. Little Miss, but isn't it the pain that makes it feel good? Lifebegins, your probably right but I don't have six or seven years to find out. Great song Laurie but I am still more attached to Wuthering Hights and Breathing. Snafu I have no doubt that men and women view sex and love differently, my particular life is far from a good example. Juliette or should I say Anon always a pleasure to hear from you. You have such a disdain for sex at the best of times, my more intimate relationships have been with women who take sex a little less lightly but at the end of the day, your right its just sex. Caleb Men can easily have sex with someone they hate, having sex with someone your actually a little afraid of is harder.
True story.
Like petting a tiger.
Post a Comment