Collateral

Yesterdays P&L: GBP-98.00
Yesterdays booze: 500cl Absolut Vodka, 2litres Irish cider, 750cl Rioja

Whatta revoltin' development, I lost money - I just can't afford a single day of losses right now. Last night I watched the movie Collateral, I love this film! It is so bleak, it just resonated within me like you wouldn't believe. I am a huge fan of Michael Mann, hey I am an 80's boy Miami Vice was so cool. I watched this movie with a friend, I don't have many. He couldn't see why I was so keen on it, he thought it was just an action film but for me the feelings it stirred up are difficult to explain.

The plot is simple, a cab driver picks up the wrong customer and is forced into assisting the customer, who is a relentless hitman, into his nights work. The execution of the film is just wonderful. Tom Cruise is the hitman and plays an extraordinay bad guy. Nothing is known about him, he is this guy called Vincent, he wears a smart gray suit, he could be anyone of hundreds of guys I knew in London or New York. I love when he says to the cabbie, (Jamie Foxx), "Since when was any of this negotiable". The other quote that really appeals to me is when he is talking about how cold LA is, he says something along the lines of a guy dies on a subway train and ries around for 6 hours without anyone knowing at the beginning of the movie and at the end of it when he dies on a subway train he says, "Guy gets on the subway and dies. Think anybody'll notice?".

What I love about this film is Cruise is relentless, he doesn't know why he is killing these people, he just does it, ain't no point in complaining when you have a job to do. At one point he says "Get with it. Millions of galaxies of hundreds of millions of stars, in a speck on one in a blink. That's us, lost in space. The cop, you, me... Who notices?" Later he says , when discussing the cabbies dreams, "Someday my dream will come. One night you'll wake up and you'll discover it never happened. It's all turned around on you and it never will. Suddenly you are old, didn't happened and it never will, 'cause you were never going to do it anyway."

My younger brother, who I love, thinks I am some kind of legend because I turned my back on convention, he said to me once that everyone talks about it, you know, just saying fuck it and walking away but I really did it. He is right in some respects but it hasn't been as easy as it seems. It is like a trapeze across the Grand Canyon without a safety net. For a while things were great, I lived an amazing life style, I remember one time crying in my booze at my favourite bar in Bangkok and a friend asked me what is the worst thing that happened to you this year, the only bad thing I could think of was that Emirates Airline ran out of Lobster before they served me. Anyway, if you haven't seen it watch Collateral and think, if you died on the underground who is going to know or care.