Todays P&L: GBP 0.00
Todays Booze: I don't want to say I would give my right leg for a drink, but...
Todays soundtrack: The rheumy coughs, snores and grunts from my fellow inmates
Well, after hoping my latest leg injury would "just go away", I finally had to admit defeat and jumped in a cab to the local hospital. Needless to say they incarcerated me quicker than an Indonesian Kopassus officer that you forgot to give "tea money to". After deciding I didn't have some bizarre flesh eating disease, they decided to take me down to surgery and appear to have lopped off half my right calf. I am currently awaiting the plastic surgery team to decide when they are going to give me a skin graft. Seems this is going to be a far more visible scar than the myriad little scars and nicks that decorate my body. As I don't know what caused the rather disgusting infection, (think cabin fever), I shall have to make up a story to go with it. The problem is my life is already so weird that I don't normally make up stories to impress the girls, (why else would God have given us mouths if not to tell lies to girls)? I was thinking of telling everyone I was attacked by a man-eating shark while surfing in Australia, but everyone knows I have never been to Australia and that my almost permanent garb of a black linen/cashmere suit is not ideal surfing kit.
A few kind readers have recently commented on helping me out of my manic depressive mood, thanks to everyone who was concerned. Oddly I don't regard myself as a depressed person. I have a sort of studied gloominess, but I have seen enough crap lives in this world to not really wallow in self-pity, well apart from when I am drunk and listening to my favourite sad songs. I definitely come from the, "straighten up and fly right", sort of background. My parents have never heard of things such as bi-polar disorder and would certainly regard it as voodoo psychology. as I have said in the past, this blog is possibly the only place I would reveal my true feelings, although I once told some of my life story to someone sitting next to me in a bar - it probably doesn't count as it was a stuffed Gorilla. So anyway to anyone who was concerned about my whining - don't worry, I will be hopping out of this "institution" soon enough and back to my usual self.
So I missed a weeks trading, probably just as well, although annoyingly I had called it pretty right. The Euro is now being targeted by the mega hedge funds who are taking bets through the options markets. They seem to think a one for one parity with the dollar is on the cards and I can't disagree. Although I am more negative, in my opinion if a member of the Euro zone defaults on its debt. Then the whole Euro project could go up in flames. The pound should be gaining on this but our own bad finances and the political comedy we currently enjoy are putting paid to that. Perhaps I am just really insensitive but the idea of civil servants being bullied by Gordon Brown seems pathetic to me. I am all for stopping little kids being bullied at school but phoning a help line when your a grown up and saying my boss is picking on me seems a little wet. Maybe the working environment I used to enjoy encouraged it so much that it was unnoticeable. You do sometimes hear about bullying in the workplace but it is usually close to the words "constructive dismissal" and "out of court settlement".
Friday 26 February 2010
Saturday 20 February 2010
Tough Times
Yesterdays P&L: GBP -200.00
Yesterdays Booze: Nothing, but this can't last
Yesterdays Soundtrack: Abba
I knew I shouldn't have traded yesterday, my ever dwindling pool of capital will be gone soon. I am literally in the last chance saloon and am getting to the stage where it will be a last roll of the dice and if I fail, well it doesn't bare thinking about. I should be at the top of my game for this but instead, I am a physical and mental wreck. I am a pretty morose character but I don't recall ever feeling this far down. I am not sure how it has all come down to this, I know I have frittered away lots of money, my alcohol addiction and my reluctance to fly anything other than first class, plus my years of living in hotels has certainly put a dent in my cash, and while I wouldn't describe myself as generous, I have always been pretty free and easy with my cash and possessions. I have been on my uppers before with just a couple of hundred quid to my name and stuck it in a lapsed spread trading account, spent the night in bush shelters or on tube stations and traded at internet cafes until I could transfer my ill-gotten gains to a prepaid card, but I was a younger man then. Maybe this is just the way these things happen you squeeze life too hard and it falls through your fingers all the more quickly. I suppose i suspected this would happen when I came back to the UK. At the time I had broken several bones in my legs and was immobilized for several months. So I traded, actually I overtraded, as I had nothing else to do. I lost a lot of money. I recall thinking that this is wrong, I feel trapped, stuck in one place. It wasn't just my body that was immobile, my mind was leaden also. In the past I had always kept moving, trying to stay ahead, I felt like a shark or something that if I stopped swimming against the tide I would drown and now here I am drowning. And the worst of it is,it doesn't get better, people always say "things will get better" but they don't, they get worse.
Anyway, the markets bit me again, because I have to be cautious, I am missing so many opportunities. Things that I know are going to happen happen just I suspected unfortunately I can't afford to hold out for my predictions to come right so, I have to close out flat or at a small loss before the move happens. A good example is the cable, (sterling/dollar), and sterling / euro trades I was talking about a while back. The foreign exchange markets are fast and liquid so trading them is a chancy business. I had previously said that I though sterling was going to be strong against the Euro for a period, and it was, although both were soundly kicked by a resurgent dollar. I also said that the pound would be doing a lot better if it wasn't for this election and that's exactly what has happened. The political mess in this country and our appalling finances are making sterling less attractive even than the Euro. There is still scope for the Euro to unravel further as any of the other deadbeat countries may choose to do a Greece, (in fact a leading economist in Ireland said last week the Ireland should abandon the Euro). The pound however seems to be at the fate of the useless British politicians. Anyone who doubts how out of touch these buffoons are should have watched the program tower block of commons where a number of them spent a week on housing estates or projects as our American friends call them. Mind you I suppose we get the government we deserve The BBC started the week with its main story being the return from Dubai of chav footballer John Terry reunited with his ridiculous wife and ended it with the lead story being Tiger Woods apologizing for cheating on his wife. I found it difficult to take either story seriously as news, I mean Terry is an tosser on the downside of his career, (is it just me or were he and Danny Dyer separated at birth), and where else is his wife going to find someone to pay for her shopping and get her in the papers. As for Woods, at that sanitized press conference, claiming his wife had never battered him, despite seemingly having ripped his car in two with her bare hands. Ok she is a scary Nordic chick, but lets be honest he can afford to buy his own island and stock it full of all the exotic babes he wants. From now on we know three things about Tiger Woods. He is really, really good at golf. He really, really can't keep it in his pants and that in his marriage he is the bitch.
According to iTunes my most listened to music yesterday was ABBA. Abba was a huge band when I was eight to about twelve. They were deeply unfashionable during the New Romantic frenzy that came afterward, but I always liked them, I thought their songs were great and even though I couldn't write music loved their harmonies. They also seemed to have the requisite melancholy for a character like mine. Some of the songs are surprisingly sad. A lot of their music reminds me of Rumours by Fleetwood Mac. Not in terms of the music, but if you listen to that record you can feel the sound of peoples personal relationships falling apart. Anyway here are my five favourite Abba songs yesterday:
Knowing Me Knowing You - Great song, this. Its kind of like it always is when you stop seeing someone. Sometimes no matter how right it seems to be with someone, you just know it isn't going to work out. "Knowing me, Knowing you, it's the best I can do".
The Winner Takes It All - Classic broken heart music, Even if you've never been in a great romance, this song makes you feel like you have. I love the line "Tell me does she kiss, like I used to kiss you. Does it feel the same When she calls your name". Part of keeping moving was always to know when to get out. I have seen that hurt look in a few girls eyes, when you've left it too long. The worst thing about stopping seeing someone is that moment. Its much better if they get mad at you or best of all if they dump you. This song really reminds me of the Lunatic
Money, Money, Money - Quite appropriate right now. Who doesn't want to be rich? I have been poor and relatively wealthy, but have a fairly healthy disregard for money. The Stalker and the Lunatic have both been seriously rich, neither seems to have been too happy although the Stalker gets huge pleasure in giving money to the poor. Shame she doesn't throw any of that coin my way.
The Name Of The Game - This song makes me think of predatory women, I have known a few, I don't know if women can tell when a man is interested in them. I always just assume that women think all men are interested in them. Men can definitely feel when a woman is hunting them.
The Visitors - How I feel right now. Trapped, a long way from where I should be "I cannot move, I'm standing, numb and frozen, among the things I loved so dearly". One of the good things about being alone is that you tend not to carry too much dead weight with you. When I left Bangkok, I had one hand luggage with me, It had everything I owned in it. I have been know to get on planes with nothing more that my passport, toothbrush and wallet. You stay in one place you get possessions, you get tied down. I was happier before.
Anyway bye for now,
and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Yesterdays Booze: Nothing, but this can't last
Yesterdays Soundtrack: Abba
I knew I shouldn't have traded yesterday, my ever dwindling pool of capital will be gone soon. I am literally in the last chance saloon and am getting to the stage where it will be a last roll of the dice and if I fail, well it doesn't bare thinking about. I should be at the top of my game for this but instead, I am a physical and mental wreck. I am a pretty morose character but I don't recall ever feeling this far down. I am not sure how it has all come down to this, I know I have frittered away lots of money, my alcohol addiction and my reluctance to fly anything other than first class, plus my years of living in hotels has certainly put a dent in my cash, and while I wouldn't describe myself as generous, I have always been pretty free and easy with my cash and possessions. I have been on my uppers before with just a couple of hundred quid to my name and stuck it in a lapsed spread trading account, spent the night in bush shelters or on tube stations and traded at internet cafes until I could transfer my ill-gotten gains to a prepaid card, but I was a younger man then. Maybe this is just the way these things happen you squeeze life too hard and it falls through your fingers all the more quickly. I suppose i suspected this would happen when I came back to the UK. At the time I had broken several bones in my legs and was immobilized for several months. So I traded, actually I overtraded, as I had nothing else to do. I lost a lot of money. I recall thinking that this is wrong, I feel trapped, stuck in one place. It wasn't just my body that was immobile, my mind was leaden also. In the past I had always kept moving, trying to stay ahead, I felt like a shark or something that if I stopped swimming against the tide I would drown and now here I am drowning. And the worst of it is,it doesn't get better, people always say "things will get better" but they don't, they get worse.
Anyway, the markets bit me again, because I have to be cautious, I am missing so many opportunities. Things that I know are going to happen happen just I suspected unfortunately I can't afford to hold out for my predictions to come right so, I have to close out flat or at a small loss before the move happens. A good example is the cable, (sterling/dollar), and sterling / euro trades I was talking about a while back. The foreign exchange markets are fast and liquid so trading them is a chancy business. I had previously said that I though sterling was going to be strong against the Euro for a period, and it was, although both were soundly kicked by a resurgent dollar. I also said that the pound would be doing a lot better if it wasn't for this election and that's exactly what has happened. The political mess in this country and our appalling finances are making sterling less attractive even than the Euro. There is still scope for the Euro to unravel further as any of the other deadbeat countries may choose to do a Greece, (in fact a leading economist in Ireland said last week the Ireland should abandon the Euro). The pound however seems to be at the fate of the useless British politicians. Anyone who doubts how out of touch these buffoons are should have watched the program tower block of commons where a number of them spent a week on housing estates or projects as our American friends call them. Mind you I suppose we get the government we deserve The BBC started the week with its main story being the return from Dubai of chav footballer John Terry reunited with his ridiculous wife and ended it with the lead story being Tiger Woods apologizing for cheating on his wife. I found it difficult to take either story seriously as news, I mean Terry is an tosser on the downside of his career, (is it just me or were he and Danny Dyer separated at birth), and where else is his wife going to find someone to pay for her shopping and get her in the papers. As for Woods, at that sanitized press conference, claiming his wife had never battered him, despite seemingly having ripped his car in two with her bare hands. Ok she is a scary Nordic chick, but lets be honest he can afford to buy his own island and stock it full of all the exotic babes he wants. From now on we know three things about Tiger Woods. He is really, really good at golf. He really, really can't keep it in his pants and that in his marriage he is the bitch.
According to iTunes my most listened to music yesterday was ABBA. Abba was a huge band when I was eight to about twelve. They were deeply unfashionable during the New Romantic frenzy that came afterward, but I always liked them, I thought their songs were great and even though I couldn't write music loved their harmonies. They also seemed to have the requisite melancholy for a character like mine. Some of the songs are surprisingly sad. A lot of their music reminds me of Rumours by Fleetwood Mac. Not in terms of the music, but if you listen to that record you can feel the sound of peoples personal relationships falling apart. Anyway here are my five favourite Abba songs yesterday:
Knowing Me Knowing You - Great song, this. Its kind of like it always is when you stop seeing someone. Sometimes no matter how right it seems to be with someone, you just know it isn't going to work out. "Knowing me, Knowing you, it's the best I can do".
The Winner Takes It All - Classic broken heart music, Even if you've never been in a great romance, this song makes you feel like you have. I love the line "Tell me does she kiss, like I used to kiss you. Does it feel the same When she calls your name". Part of keeping moving was always to know when to get out. I have seen that hurt look in a few girls eyes, when you've left it too long. The worst thing about stopping seeing someone is that moment. Its much better if they get mad at you or best of all if they dump you. This song really reminds me of the Lunatic
Money, Money, Money - Quite appropriate right now. Who doesn't want to be rich? I have been poor and relatively wealthy, but have a fairly healthy disregard for money. The Stalker and the Lunatic have both been seriously rich, neither seems to have been too happy although the Stalker gets huge pleasure in giving money to the poor. Shame she doesn't throw any of that coin my way.
The Name Of The Game - This song makes me think of predatory women, I have known a few, I don't know if women can tell when a man is interested in them. I always just assume that women think all men are interested in them. Men can definitely feel when a woman is hunting them.
The Visitors - How I feel right now. Trapped, a long way from where I should be "I cannot move, I'm standing, numb and frozen, among the things I loved so dearly". One of the good things about being alone is that you tend not to carry too much dead weight with you. When I left Bangkok, I had one hand luggage with me, It had everything I owned in it. I have been know to get on planes with nothing more that my passport, toothbrush and wallet. You stay in one place you get possessions, you get tied down. I was happier before.
Anyway bye for now,
and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Thursday 18 February 2010
Feeling Sorry For Myself
Todays P&L: GBP 0.00.
Todays Booze: I'm hurting man...hurting - Do a guy a favour and score me a shot...
Todays Soundtrack: My own howling at the moon and screams of suffering.
Man, I am in pain and have been all week. I suspect I have broken one of the bones in my lower leg, although it may not be broke, my calf muscle is black and has shifted position from the back of my leg towards the inside. The pain is pretty intense although I doubt its any worse than I have had in the past. The key difference is, of course, I am not soused on booze. In the past I would have been way into my third bottle of Vodka by now. Anyway, along with the pain I have a fever so, I haven't been able to trade, which is the only thing that gives me any pleasure these days.
I have been watching the markets on the box however as I have had precious little else to do while lying in my squalor on the sofa, can't even make it up the stairs and have the indignity of crawling to the bathroom. The markets are somewhat bemusing to me right now. Gold didn't drop as much as I had hoped but I managed a small long position at 1,074 dollars. I am concerned that absolutely nothing has happened about the Greek debt situation and the markets continue to open up to risk, pushing the stock markets higher. I saw one pundit on CNBC saying that everyone knows Europe has to bail out Greece, (which is true - otherwise adios Euro), and that what does it matter because it will only cost hundred billion Euros or so. Nice. The recent financial crisis has desensitised us to large amounts of money that they only register if they are in trillions. And to add insult to injury the investment banks seem to have b een involveed in fixing the balance sheets of the European governments with off-balance sheet swaps, disguising the true financial situation of their economic health. For bond investors, (which includes most peoples pension and insurance companies), this means that once again the investment banks are playing with a marked deck. The banks themselves are reporting solid earnings, feeling smug and rewarding theemselves with huge bonuses, of course its easy to make money when your cost of funds is nearly zero.
Todays Booze: I'm hurting man...hurting - Do a guy a favour and score me a shot...
Todays Soundtrack: My own howling at the moon and screams of suffering.
Man, I am in pain and have been all week. I suspect I have broken one of the bones in my lower leg, although it may not be broke, my calf muscle is black and has shifted position from the back of my leg towards the inside. The pain is pretty intense although I doubt its any worse than I have had in the past. The key difference is, of course, I am not soused on booze. In the past I would have been way into my third bottle of Vodka by now. Anyway, along with the pain I have a fever so, I haven't been able to trade, which is the only thing that gives me any pleasure these days.
I have been watching the markets on the box however as I have had precious little else to do while lying in my squalor on the sofa, can't even make it up the stairs and have the indignity of crawling to the bathroom. The markets are somewhat bemusing to me right now. Gold didn't drop as much as I had hoped but I managed a small long position at 1,074 dollars. I am concerned that absolutely nothing has happened about the Greek debt situation and the markets continue to open up to risk, pushing the stock markets higher. I saw one pundit on CNBC saying that everyone knows Europe has to bail out Greece, (which is true - otherwise adios Euro), and that what does it matter because it will only cost hundred billion Euros or so. Nice. The recent financial crisis has desensitised us to large amounts of money that they only register if they are in trillions. And to add insult to injury the investment banks seem to have b een involveed in fixing the balance sheets of the European governments with off-balance sheet swaps, disguising the true financial situation of their economic health. For bond investors, (which includes most peoples pension and insurance companies), this means that once again the investment banks are playing with a marked deck. The banks themselves are reporting solid earnings, feeling smug and rewarding theemselves with huge bonuses, of course its easy to make money when your cost of funds is nearly zero.
Friday 12 February 2010
You Never Had a Camera In My Head
Yesterdays P&L: GBP-980.00
Yesterdays Booze: I never touch the stuff
Yesterdays Soundtrack: Various
Yesterday was a bastard day for trading, I got burned on the DOW30 futures. There was a huge amount of volatility, at first the market was looking healthy because it seemed that a solution was on the cards for the fact that Greece is bankrupt and the only way for them to balance their budget enough to stay in the Euro is to enforce economic warfare on their hapless citizens. You would think the Greeks would understand the concept of suffering for the greater good, what happened to Greek Stoicism? Anyway The Americans liked the sound of the Europeans bailing out the Greeks until Merkel basically said I just said we would, I don't really have any idea how were going to do it. The market responded badly to this. Then for reasons I am not aware, The futures started climbing upwards in quite a vigorous manner. Perhaps it was the, (slight), improvement in jobs data, maybe it was Obama taking a 180 degree spin and saying he ain't no communist and he fully supports the salaries that the CEO's of JP Morgan and Goldmans received. Speaking of Obama, perhaps he should check with America's bankers in Beijing to see if its ok for him to have the Dalai Lama for a sleepover at the Whitehouse. America may still have more guns and tanks but these days they are paid for with Chinese money.
My choice of music yesterday was varied so here is the top five according to my pc:
Enola Gay - Eighties classic from OMD. People say such weighty issues as Hiroshima are ill-served by bouncy pop songs. If you think of it at the time it was released, like Breathing by Kate Bush, nuclear war seemed very likely. The wording in this song is very clever for a pop song and mentions the bomb, (Little Boy), and the time of the detonation, (8.15). Anyone who gets the chance to go to Hiroshima should, the Peace Monument is something worth seeing. It is rather disturbing that the Americans deliberately avoided conventional bombing Hiroshima in order that they could gain a true picture of the damage their new, untested weapon would cause. And also that the other bomb used at Nagasaki was off a different type so they were quite clearly using the excercise as a test.
Boomtown - An instrumental track from The Local Hero soundtrack. Starts off quite jolly but halfway through it starts to sound more morose as the saxophone starts to howl a little more over the light jazz - What is it about Saxophones that can sound so desperate?
Hands of Time - Groove Armada, this song is about as laid back as they get, "I never really felt quite the same since I lost what I had to Gain. No one to blame, No one to blame". This song reminds me of the back of a cab, going through the streets of Bangkok in the early morning, feeling just that little bit the wrong side of worn out.
The Visitors - Who doesn't really like ABBA, They were never that big in America as they didn't see the point in touring. That is so Scandinavian, They were already huge elsewhere and didn't feel it was worth it, in complete contrast to almost every other musical act. Mind you they were also offered one billion dollars to reform in the nineties which they politely declined. Nowadays they are more known for the movie Mamma Mia, but they had some great songs. I like the way their music changed as the stresses in their relationships increased. Their last record, The Visitors is full of paranoia and regret although always manages to sound like a pop album.
Accidents Will Happen - Not the real Elvis but still a great artist. Armed Forces was a brilliant album. Accidents will happen seems to be about guilt based around a story of infidelity. This record also featured Oliver's Army.
Today I watched the movie The Truman Show. I like that movie, Even though I am not a fan of him, Jim Carrey plays the role really well. One of the lines that stood out in my mind, "We accept the world with which we are presented with... It's as simple as that". I suppose its true. Very few people seem to question the reality of their lives and if they do there always seems to be some reason to put things off. Some drudgery of work or meeting mortgage payments, something to stop us questioning our lives and following our dreams. Truman dreams of going to Fiji, pointing to a golf ball he says to his friend "See here? This is us, and all the way around here,Fiji. You can't get any further away before you start coming back". I love that - you can't get further away without coming back. We are the stars of our own Truman Show.
Makes me think about blogging, my blog started about my drinking but, at least temporarily, I don't drink anymore so whats the point?
In case I don't see ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.
Yesterdays Booze: I never touch the stuff
Yesterdays Soundtrack: Various
Yesterday was a bastard day for trading, I got burned on the DOW30 futures. There was a huge amount of volatility, at first the market was looking healthy because it seemed that a solution was on the cards for the fact that Greece is bankrupt and the only way for them to balance their budget enough to stay in the Euro is to enforce economic warfare on their hapless citizens. You would think the Greeks would understand the concept of suffering for the greater good, what happened to Greek Stoicism? Anyway The Americans liked the sound of the Europeans bailing out the Greeks until Merkel basically said I just said we would, I don't really have any idea how were going to do it. The market responded badly to this. Then for reasons I am not aware, The futures started climbing upwards in quite a vigorous manner. Perhaps it was the, (slight), improvement in jobs data, maybe it was Obama taking a 180 degree spin and saying he ain't no communist and he fully supports the salaries that the CEO's of JP Morgan and Goldmans received. Speaking of Obama, perhaps he should check with America's bankers in Beijing to see if its ok for him to have the Dalai Lama for a sleepover at the Whitehouse. America may still have more guns and tanks but these days they are paid for with Chinese money.
My choice of music yesterday was varied so here is the top five according to my pc:
Enola Gay - Eighties classic from OMD. People say such weighty issues as Hiroshima are ill-served by bouncy pop songs. If you think of it at the time it was released, like Breathing by Kate Bush, nuclear war seemed very likely. The wording in this song is very clever for a pop song and mentions the bomb, (Little Boy), and the time of the detonation, (8.15). Anyone who gets the chance to go to Hiroshima should, the Peace Monument is something worth seeing. It is rather disturbing that the Americans deliberately avoided conventional bombing Hiroshima in order that they could gain a true picture of the damage their new, untested weapon would cause. And also that the other bomb used at Nagasaki was off a different type so they were quite clearly using the excercise as a test.
Boomtown - An instrumental track from The Local Hero soundtrack. Starts off quite jolly but halfway through it starts to sound more morose as the saxophone starts to howl a little more over the light jazz - What is it about Saxophones that can sound so desperate?
Hands of Time - Groove Armada, this song is about as laid back as they get, "I never really felt quite the same since I lost what I had to Gain. No one to blame, No one to blame". This song reminds me of the back of a cab, going through the streets of Bangkok in the early morning, feeling just that little bit the wrong side of worn out.
The Visitors - Who doesn't really like ABBA, They were never that big in America as they didn't see the point in touring. That is so Scandinavian, They were already huge elsewhere and didn't feel it was worth it, in complete contrast to almost every other musical act. Mind you they were also offered one billion dollars to reform in the nineties which they politely declined. Nowadays they are more known for the movie Mamma Mia, but they had some great songs. I like the way their music changed as the stresses in their relationships increased. Their last record, The Visitors is full of paranoia and regret although always manages to sound like a pop album.
Accidents Will Happen - Not the real Elvis but still a great artist. Armed Forces was a brilliant album. Accidents will happen seems to be about guilt based around a story of infidelity. This record also featured Oliver's Army.
Today I watched the movie The Truman Show. I like that movie, Even though I am not a fan of him, Jim Carrey plays the role really well. One of the lines that stood out in my mind, "We accept the world with which we are presented with... It's as simple as that". I suppose its true. Very few people seem to question the reality of their lives and if they do there always seems to be some reason to put things off. Some drudgery of work or meeting mortgage payments, something to stop us questioning our lives and following our dreams. Truman dreams of going to Fiji, pointing to a golf ball he says to his friend "See here? This is us, and all the way around here,Fiji. You can't get any further away before you start coming back". I love that - you can't get further away without coming back. We are the stars of our own Truman Show.
Makes me think about blogging, my blog started about my drinking but, at least temporarily, I don't drink anymore so whats the point?
In case I don't see ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.
Tuesday 9 February 2010
I Think I'm Losing My Mind
Todays P&L: GBP 60.00 sometimes I don't know why I bother.
Todays Booze: Still clean
Todays Soundtrack: Bruce Springsteen
The markets were nuts today, There was some serious volatility on the DOW30 at the to four in the afternoon, (London time). The general momentum is upside - I feel this is a bit of a suckers rally. The reason being touted is that Greece has no chance of defaulting. Well I could have told you that, but do the Germans know what they are doing by bailing out the Greeks. What next? Portugal, Spain, Ireland and Italy. This reminds me of a sovereign version of the UK banking crisis. If the government had taken decisive action hen Northern Rock collapsed and let those fools go under the speculators wouldn't have targeted RBS and HBOS, which proved far weaker than anyone knew. The correlation between the Dow and the dollar is interesting. America continues to print money in the form of treasury bonds. Gold is falling and I have decided to see how close it can get to a thousand dollars per ounce before choosing an entry point. The real buying signal will be when the analysts and talking heads on the business channel say the commodities rally is over.
Am I losing my mind? I think I might be although there are plenty of people, my father amongst them, that would say I am completely insane. We are not a family that believes in therapy and the like but when I was fifteen my family was going through a pretty hard time and after my art teacher and English teacher made some recommendations based on my 0 level course work I was recommended to see a psychiatrist, which would have been used as evidence in a complicated legal case my parents were engaged in, (long story and any more details would be detrimental to my family). My father refused, even though like any angst ridden teenager I was well up for it, his explanation? "If they get their hands on this fucker, we will never get him out of the looney bin" - charming. I recently told poetry of flesh on her strangely erotic blog about a brain trauma I had in my youth. Here is the story.
When I was very young, although it seems absurd to me that I was ever that young now, I was something of a child prodigy. They didn't really give IQ tests to children in those days, but mine was regarded as way off the scales, even though I was numerically dyslexic. The test used was mental age and mine was predicted at nineteen plus. This was something of a surprise to my parents who thought I was slow because I didn't talk until I was nearly three. When I was laughing as they were teaching my elder brother to read with some children s book and they said to me you can't even talk so I don't know why you are laughing. I then dictated the entire book they were using to my mother word perfect. Anyway apart from being a bit of a smart arse there wasn't much benefit apart from never having to study. One day I was in the street and I saw my older brother, whom I must have been a constant annoyance to, with some friends. I ran towards him probably shouting abuse. It was evening, probably about eight or nine and he picked up a lump of concrete hardcore which unfortunately had a very sharp edge and hurled it at me as I was running full speed towards him. The rock hit me square in the forehead. Anyway It pierced my skull and damaged my cerebral hemisphere. Once I came too, my brother who by now was really scared took me to his friends house where she cleaned up the huge amounts of blood and stuck a plaster over the hole in my skull. I was still dazed and when my brother and I returned home he told me to go straight to bed and not talk to my parents, which I did. They clearly knew something was up because they came into my room and rushed me to hospital. I don't actually remember any of this, its just what was told to me, In fact I don't remember anything sbout my childhood until I left the hospital. I wasn't in long, because there was nothing they could really do, I have a small scar in my forehead which still has a chip of granite in it as a reminder and a solid bump in the middle of my head. Didn't harm my looks much so that's good, but I lost my photographic memory and while still a smart arse probably a hundred or so IQ points. I think Poetry was interested in if I thought it had affected my behavior in any way. As I was too young then and can't remember anything about what I was like before it is impossible to tell. It does seem likely that my willful disregard for my own safety and my compulsive behavior may have been triggered by it. Like I say, I have never been to a shrink so who knows?
My other head injuries are when I was in Lagos and I was arrested by the army for drinking moonshine and buying currency on the black market, I was forced to squat in the sun and when I fell I was kicked by some soldier who I gave some racist abuse to, (did say I wasn't so smart anymore didn't I), and I was bashed over the head a few times with the stock of his rifle - that got me five stitches at the back of the skull and a concussion. And the other One was when I inexplicably fell over in Spain, (the pavements are crap), I didn't have time to brace myself at all and landed face first on a kerb, which broke my nose and left me with a scar between my eyes. It also broke my cheekbones and pushed my front teeth a few millimeters back, (I was really worried I would lose them - cant stand dentists). Anyway those probably knocked off a few more IQ points, in fact, I am lucky I can even make it to the toilet unaided these days.
So that's one of my many stories, am I mad? probably but I have the scars to prove it wasn't my fault.
Today's soundtrack was the boss, Springsteen. Not to everyone's taste but I really like him despite not being an unemployed steel worker from New Jersey. My top five Bruce tracks today are:
One Step Up: Quintessential Springsteen, Its got the lot, Marital problems, beaten up old Ford, drinking in a hard luck town. This song could be about my trading, One step up and two steps back. Instead its about my life, "It's the same thing night on night, Who's wrong baby who's right, Another fight and I slam the door on another battle in our dirty little war.When I look at myself I don't see the man I wanted to be.Somewhere along the line I slipped off track. I'm caught movin' one step up and two steps back" This song is sad but the final verse when he sings "Last night I dreamed I held you in my arms, the music was never-ending.We danced as the evening sky faded to black" and the music shifts into a kind of crescendo, you really feel like all problems can be overcome. This song reminds me of the Lunatic.
Downbound Train - Bruce's entry to the gloomiest song ever competition, who can beat opening lines like "I had a job, I had a girl, I had something going mister in this world, I got laid off down at the lumber yard. Our love went bad, times got hard
Now I work down at the carwash, where all it ever does is rain. Don't you feel like you're a rider on a downbound train. She just said "Joe I gotta go, We had it once we ain't got it any more". She packed her bags left me behind". Is it any wonder I drink so much with music like this on my playlist. This reminds me of being alone in Bangkok when my luck finally ran out.
I'm On Fire - Short and sweet, who doesn't love this song. reminds me of being a kid and not getting the girl I wanted.
Better Days - Optimism at last, This song reminds me no matter how bad it seems I haven't got that much to complain about. "Well my soul checked out missing as I sat listening,to the hours and minutes tickin' away. Yeah just sittin' around waitin' for my life to begin, While it was all just slippin' away" And also to stop feeling so sorry for myself all the time "Now a life of leisure and a pirate's treasure don't make much for tragedy,but it's a sad man my friend who's livin' in his own skin and can't stand the company. Every fool's got a reason for feelin' sorry for himself and turning his heart to stone".
Philadelphia - back to doom and gloom a track that is stunning in its bleakness, " I was bruised and battered, and I couldn't tell what I felt.I was unrecognizable to myself. Saw my reflection in a window,I didn't know my own face". "Ain't no angel gonna greet me,it's just you and I my friend.And my clothes don't fit me no more.
I walked a thousand miles just to slip this skin" This song reminds me of when I was hospitalized and the doctors said I doubt you will make it through the night. The Nurse three days later said to me you look healthy, but your the sickest person in this ward. The guy next to me died that night.
Other close contenders were Two Faces, The River, Born To Run, Thunder Road Murder Incorporated and Mr State Trooper.
Todays Booze: Still clean
Todays Soundtrack: Bruce Springsteen
The markets were nuts today, There was some serious volatility on the DOW30 at the to four in the afternoon, (London time). The general momentum is upside - I feel this is a bit of a suckers rally. The reason being touted is that Greece has no chance of defaulting. Well I could have told you that, but do the Germans know what they are doing by bailing out the Greeks. What next? Portugal, Spain, Ireland and Italy. This reminds me of a sovereign version of the UK banking crisis. If the government had taken decisive action hen Northern Rock collapsed and let those fools go under the speculators wouldn't have targeted RBS and HBOS, which proved far weaker than anyone knew. The correlation between the Dow and the dollar is interesting. America continues to print money in the form of treasury bonds. Gold is falling and I have decided to see how close it can get to a thousand dollars per ounce before choosing an entry point. The real buying signal will be when the analysts and talking heads on the business channel say the commodities rally is over.
Am I losing my mind? I think I might be although there are plenty of people, my father amongst them, that would say I am completely insane. We are not a family that believes in therapy and the like but when I was fifteen my family was going through a pretty hard time and after my art teacher and English teacher made some recommendations based on my 0 level course work I was recommended to see a psychiatrist, which would have been used as evidence in a complicated legal case my parents were engaged in, (long story and any more details would be detrimental to my family). My father refused, even though like any angst ridden teenager I was well up for it, his explanation? "If they get their hands on this fucker, we will never get him out of the looney bin" - charming. I recently told poetry of flesh on her strangely erotic blog about a brain trauma I had in my youth. Here is the story.
When I was very young, although it seems absurd to me that I was ever that young now, I was something of a child prodigy. They didn't really give IQ tests to children in those days, but mine was regarded as way off the scales, even though I was numerically dyslexic. The test used was mental age and mine was predicted at nineteen plus. This was something of a surprise to my parents who thought I was slow because I didn't talk until I was nearly three. When I was laughing as they were teaching my elder brother to read with some children s book and they said to me you can't even talk so I don't know why you are laughing. I then dictated the entire book they were using to my mother word perfect. Anyway apart from being a bit of a smart arse there wasn't much benefit apart from never having to study. One day I was in the street and I saw my older brother, whom I must have been a constant annoyance to, with some friends. I ran towards him probably shouting abuse. It was evening, probably about eight or nine and he picked up a lump of concrete hardcore which unfortunately had a very sharp edge and hurled it at me as I was running full speed towards him. The rock hit me square in the forehead. Anyway It pierced my skull and damaged my cerebral hemisphere. Once I came too, my brother who by now was really scared took me to his friends house where she cleaned up the huge amounts of blood and stuck a plaster over the hole in my skull. I was still dazed and when my brother and I returned home he told me to go straight to bed and not talk to my parents, which I did. They clearly knew something was up because they came into my room and rushed me to hospital. I don't actually remember any of this, its just what was told to me, In fact I don't remember anything sbout my childhood until I left the hospital. I wasn't in long, because there was nothing they could really do, I have a small scar in my forehead which still has a chip of granite in it as a reminder and a solid bump in the middle of my head. Didn't harm my looks much so that's good, but I lost my photographic memory and while still a smart arse probably a hundred or so IQ points. I think Poetry was interested in if I thought it had affected my behavior in any way. As I was too young then and can't remember anything about what I was like before it is impossible to tell. It does seem likely that my willful disregard for my own safety and my compulsive behavior may have been triggered by it. Like I say, I have never been to a shrink so who knows?
My other head injuries are when I was in Lagos and I was arrested by the army for drinking moonshine and buying currency on the black market, I was forced to squat in the sun and when I fell I was kicked by some soldier who I gave some racist abuse to, (did say I wasn't so smart anymore didn't I), and I was bashed over the head a few times with the stock of his rifle - that got me five stitches at the back of the skull and a concussion. And the other One was when I inexplicably fell over in Spain, (the pavements are crap), I didn't have time to brace myself at all and landed face first on a kerb, which broke my nose and left me with a scar between my eyes. It also broke my cheekbones and pushed my front teeth a few millimeters back, (I was really worried I would lose them - cant stand dentists). Anyway those probably knocked off a few more IQ points, in fact, I am lucky I can even make it to the toilet unaided these days.
So that's one of my many stories, am I mad? probably but I have the scars to prove it wasn't my fault.
Today's soundtrack was the boss, Springsteen. Not to everyone's taste but I really like him despite not being an unemployed steel worker from New Jersey. My top five Bruce tracks today are:
One Step Up: Quintessential Springsteen, Its got the lot, Marital problems, beaten up old Ford, drinking in a hard luck town. This song could be about my trading, One step up and two steps back. Instead its about my life, "It's the same thing night on night, Who's wrong baby who's right, Another fight and I slam the door on another battle in our dirty little war.When I look at myself I don't see the man I wanted to be.Somewhere along the line I slipped off track. I'm caught movin' one step up and two steps back" This song is sad but the final verse when he sings "Last night I dreamed I held you in my arms, the music was never-ending.We danced as the evening sky faded to black" and the music shifts into a kind of crescendo, you really feel like all problems can be overcome. This song reminds me of the Lunatic.
Downbound Train - Bruce's entry to the gloomiest song ever competition, who can beat opening lines like "I had a job, I had a girl, I had something going mister in this world, I got laid off down at the lumber yard. Our love went bad, times got hard
Now I work down at the carwash, where all it ever does is rain. Don't you feel like you're a rider on a downbound train. She just said "Joe I gotta go, We had it once we ain't got it any more". She packed her bags left me behind". Is it any wonder I drink so much with music like this on my playlist. This reminds me of being alone in Bangkok when my luck finally ran out.
I'm On Fire - Short and sweet, who doesn't love this song. reminds me of being a kid and not getting the girl I wanted.
Better Days - Optimism at last, This song reminds me no matter how bad it seems I haven't got that much to complain about. "Well my soul checked out missing as I sat listening,to the hours and minutes tickin' away. Yeah just sittin' around waitin' for my life to begin, While it was all just slippin' away" And also to stop feeling so sorry for myself all the time "Now a life of leisure and a pirate's treasure don't make much for tragedy,but it's a sad man my friend who's livin' in his own skin and can't stand the company. Every fool's got a reason for feelin' sorry for himself and turning his heart to stone".
Philadelphia - back to doom and gloom a track that is stunning in its bleakness, " I was bruised and battered, and I couldn't tell what I felt.I was unrecognizable to myself. Saw my reflection in a window,I didn't know my own face". "Ain't no angel gonna greet me,it's just you and I my friend.And my clothes don't fit me no more.
I walked a thousand miles just to slip this skin" This song reminds me of when I was hospitalized and the doctors said I doubt you will make it through the night. The Nurse three days later said to me you look healthy, but your the sickest person in this ward. The guy next to me died that night.
Other close contenders were Two Faces, The River, Born To Run, Thunder Road Murder Incorporated and Mr State Trooper.
Friday 5 February 2010
Sing Blue Silver
Today's P&L: GBP 310.00
Today's Booze: Still nothing
Today's Soundtrack: Duran Duran
Well the markets sold off again and for once, I was, (kind of), paying attention but my capital position is so weak right now I have to be cautious. So I had a few short, (ie I sold the futures, anticipating the price to drop), spread bet trades on the DAX30 and The FTSE100 and made one hundred and twenty and one hundred and ninety pounds respectively. I know it isn't much but as they are spread bet trades, the profits are tax free. When I had more capital I used to take a cash position and hedge it with spread trades, so if I thought the market was going down I would short with a spread trade, thereby avoiding paying tax on any earnings and go long the cash futures because as they are taxed I could offset the losses on my tax returns.
The market seems worn out, people are beginning to ask questions as to what happens next. I always felt that even though there seemed like no alternative the massive liquidity injections would lead to trouble further down the road and it seems that the rest of the market is catching up to this idea. The pressure to keep things going is intense. The Euro is also still being slaughtered as Portugal is the next in line for a potential bail out. This is ridiculous and if Greece and Portugal receive aid, why shouldn't Spain and Ireland and what about all those dodgy eastern European nations. Predictably, all the free capital is rushing back to the US dollar and the treasury ,market but this is foolish, there has to be a better way to employ capital than this.
Today's soundtrack is Duran Duran, it had to happen. Duran are the reason I got into a band. In the grim old UK of the early eighties Duran Duran blew the world away. I have seen them in concert loads of times and they are always great. They were a band who at their peak generated the kind of hysteria that only the Beatles and Elvis had generated before. I love all their songs and picking just five is hard but according to iTunes the ones that won today are:
Is There Something I should Know - A brilliant song , very simple and a request that most men have made when trying to figure out girls, (don't forget Duran Duran's target audience was thirteen to eighteen year old girls and their boyfriends). For a feel good song, this is actually full of paranoia and doubt "don't say your easy on me babe, cause your about as easy as a nuclear war" - only in the eighties and only Duran could have come up with a line like this. This song reminds me of drinking with my guitarist. I left the room to get some more drink and as I walked in he had his beautiful red Schecter guitar, which was seemingly permanently strapped to his body, and he picked out the notes that run through the song.
Lonely In Your Nightmare - Grown up music from Duran on the Rio album. To me this song is about loss.
Liberty - Strange song but quite apt for me, for me it seems to be about how tired you get from all the games man and women play with each other. The stalker is currently ignoring me. Apparently I have done something terrible to offend her - bothered! I often feel like pointing out to her that she was the one who forced her way back into my life, I didn't ask her any questions about what she had been up to all those years apart. OK so I am a bad boyfriend, but she knew this before. "Don't make it every night don't wanna be the love of your life, So if you are inclined to spend a little time I'll be here"
The Reflex - Is this the song of my life, who knows? I doubt if I would have lasted so long if I was just living on my wits. What is the reflex, I guess it is instinct we all have it. If you have ever been in a life threatening situation and due to drunkenness and reckless living I have been in several you know what the reflex is. Its the time I blagged my way across the Mekong after bargaining my way out of jail in Laos. Its the time in Burma I avoided getting married, its the time I escaped a machete attack in Douala in the Cameroons and its the time me and my father got into a bar brawl with five likely lads in Bexley on his sixtieth birthday. Sometimes you stop running and take a few licks, like that line at the beginning of Goodfellas, "Every once and a while I took a beating, the way I saw it everyone takes a beating some time".
New Moon On Monday - A song that was playing the first time I got laid, so good memories for me. Who knows what the lyrics mean "shake up the mixture, the lizard picture", Whenever I hear this song, I remember when I was young and nothing, absolutely nothing seemed impossible.
The ones that could have made it and on any other day might have are The Chauffer, Girls On Film, American Science, Meet El Presidente, Hungry Like The Wolf and Come Undone.
Today's Booze: Still nothing
Today's Soundtrack: Duran Duran
Well the markets sold off again and for once, I was, (kind of), paying attention but my capital position is so weak right now I have to be cautious. So I had a few short, (ie I sold the futures, anticipating the price to drop), spread bet trades on the DAX30 and The FTSE100 and made one hundred and twenty and one hundred and ninety pounds respectively. I know it isn't much but as they are spread bet trades, the profits are tax free. When I had more capital I used to take a cash position and hedge it with spread trades, so if I thought the market was going down I would short with a spread trade, thereby avoiding paying tax on any earnings and go long the cash futures because as they are taxed I could offset the losses on my tax returns.
The market seems worn out, people are beginning to ask questions as to what happens next. I always felt that even though there seemed like no alternative the massive liquidity injections would lead to trouble further down the road and it seems that the rest of the market is catching up to this idea. The pressure to keep things going is intense. The Euro is also still being slaughtered as Portugal is the next in line for a potential bail out. This is ridiculous and if Greece and Portugal receive aid, why shouldn't Spain and Ireland and what about all those dodgy eastern European nations. Predictably, all the free capital is rushing back to the US dollar and the treasury ,market but this is foolish, there has to be a better way to employ capital than this.
Today's soundtrack is Duran Duran, it had to happen. Duran are the reason I got into a band. In the grim old UK of the early eighties Duran Duran blew the world away. I have seen them in concert loads of times and they are always great. They were a band who at their peak generated the kind of hysteria that only the Beatles and Elvis had generated before. I love all their songs and picking just five is hard but according to iTunes the ones that won today are:
Is There Something I should Know - A brilliant song , very simple and a request that most men have made when trying to figure out girls, (don't forget Duran Duran's target audience was thirteen to eighteen year old girls and their boyfriends). For a feel good song, this is actually full of paranoia and doubt "don't say your easy on me babe, cause your about as easy as a nuclear war" - only in the eighties and only Duran could have come up with a line like this. This song reminds me of drinking with my guitarist. I left the room to get some more drink and as I walked in he had his beautiful red Schecter guitar, which was seemingly permanently strapped to his body, and he picked out the notes that run through the song.
Lonely In Your Nightmare - Grown up music from Duran on the Rio album. To me this song is about loss.
Liberty - Strange song but quite apt for me, for me it seems to be about how tired you get from all the games man and women play with each other. The stalker is currently ignoring me. Apparently I have done something terrible to offend her - bothered! I often feel like pointing out to her that she was the one who forced her way back into my life, I didn't ask her any questions about what she had been up to all those years apart. OK so I am a bad boyfriend, but she knew this before. "Don't make it every night don't wanna be the love of your life, So if you are inclined to spend a little time I'll be here"
The Reflex - Is this the song of my life, who knows? I doubt if I would have lasted so long if I was just living on my wits. What is the reflex, I guess it is instinct we all have it. If you have ever been in a life threatening situation and due to drunkenness and reckless living I have been in several you know what the reflex is. Its the time I blagged my way across the Mekong after bargaining my way out of jail in Laos. Its the time in Burma I avoided getting married, its the time I escaped a machete attack in Douala in the Cameroons and its the time me and my father got into a bar brawl with five likely lads in Bexley on his sixtieth birthday. Sometimes you stop running and take a few licks, like that line at the beginning of Goodfellas, "Every once and a while I took a beating, the way I saw it everyone takes a beating some time".
New Moon On Monday - A song that was playing the first time I got laid, so good memories for me. Who knows what the lyrics mean "shake up the mixture, the lizard picture", Whenever I hear this song, I remember when I was young and nothing, absolutely nothing seemed impossible.
The ones that could have made it and on any other day might have are The Chauffer, Girls On Film, American Science, Meet El Presidente, Hungry Like The Wolf and Come Undone.
Monday 1 February 2010
I Know When To Go Out, I know When To Stay In
Today's P&L: GBP 180.00
Today's Booze: Nothing
Today's Soundtrack: David Bowie
Another sketchy day for me in the markets, I slept in and missed the European market open. By the time I was ready to go the futures were already way above fair value. I couldn't really get into the day as I had to do things for other people,(I am not the most giving of people). On top of that they screwed up my appointment at the hospital, my appointment has been changed to April. Which means I will have to go clean for an extra two months. I had assumed that if I got the all clear I coul have a glass or two of wine or beer. Anyway, I made two small spreadbet trades on the FTSE100 and the DOW30, but completely missed a good entry point on the gold futures.
Sterling is up and down against the dollar as the British economy continues to be fragile and the buffon Cameron seems unable to build a decent majority and the election looks set to be the sixth of May. I suppose the British election is unlikely to gain as much attention as the American one, after all "UK elects smug, over-priviliged git" hardly has the same ring as "US elects first black President", does it?
Anyway, the music of choice today was Bowie, another heavy hitter, and almost impossible to pick just five songs but iTunes knows best and today my favourite David Bowie songs were:
Ashes To Ashes - A song I've always liked and a massive hit. In fact the whole Scary Monsters and Super Creeps album was brilliant. Perhaps this got the top spot today for the line "Time and again, I tell myself, I'll stay clean tonight". I remember watching the video on Top of the Pops.The scary clown costume, Major Tom, suspended in his space suit and Bowie in a padded cell.
This Is Not America - Bowie with Pat Metheny, quite beautiful, for me this song is about clash of cultures but also the expectations in life that are often unfulfilled.
Life On Mars - Absolute classic, "But the film is a saddening bore, because she's lived it ten times or more, she could spit in the eyes of fools, as they ask her to focus on..." The lyrics are madcap but you just feel what the song is about - I suppose its different for everyone.
Loving The Alien - Another song about the clash of cultures, Believe in the strangest thing, like loving the alien", I have been out with lots of women from different cultures, (Well, in most cases going out with is a bit generous, does it count if you have to stop "because were landing"). Strangely though, I have rarely felt uncomfortable in whatever environment and no matter how racist they were. I suppose white people just don't feel racism as much as other ethnic groups.
The Man Who Sold The World - "Years and years I roamed ,I gazed a gazely stare, At all The millions here. I must have died alone, A long long time ago.
Who knows, not me, I never lost control, You’re face, to face, With the man who sold the world". A nihilistic song, that reminds me of my crazier days.
The close contenders were Modern Love, Putting Out The Fire With Gasoline, Ziggy Stardust, Day In, Day Out and Jump, They Say.
Today's Booze: Nothing
Today's Soundtrack: David Bowie
Another sketchy day for me in the markets, I slept in and missed the European market open. By the time I was ready to go the futures were already way above fair value. I couldn't really get into the day as I had to do things for other people,(I am not the most giving of people). On top of that they screwed up my appointment at the hospital, my appointment has been changed to April. Which means I will have to go clean for an extra two months. I had assumed that if I got the all clear I coul have a glass or two of wine or beer. Anyway, I made two small spreadbet trades on the FTSE100 and the DOW30, but completely missed a good entry point on the gold futures.
Sterling is up and down against the dollar as the British economy continues to be fragile and the buffon Cameron seems unable to build a decent majority and the election looks set to be the sixth of May. I suppose the British election is unlikely to gain as much attention as the American one, after all "UK elects smug, over-priviliged git" hardly has the same ring as "US elects first black President", does it?
Anyway, the music of choice today was Bowie, another heavy hitter, and almost impossible to pick just five songs but iTunes knows best and today my favourite David Bowie songs were:
Ashes To Ashes - A song I've always liked and a massive hit. In fact the whole Scary Monsters and Super Creeps album was brilliant. Perhaps this got the top spot today for the line "Time and again, I tell myself, I'll stay clean tonight". I remember watching the video on Top of the Pops.The scary clown costume, Major Tom, suspended in his space suit and Bowie in a padded cell.
This Is Not America - Bowie with Pat Metheny, quite beautiful, for me this song is about clash of cultures but also the expectations in life that are often unfulfilled.
Life On Mars - Absolute classic, "But the film is a saddening bore, because she's lived it ten times or more, she could spit in the eyes of fools, as they ask her to focus on..." The lyrics are madcap but you just feel what the song is about - I suppose its different for everyone.
Loving The Alien - Another song about the clash of cultures, Believe in the strangest thing, like loving the alien", I have been out with lots of women from different cultures, (Well, in most cases going out with is a bit generous, does it count if you have to stop "because were landing"). Strangely though, I have rarely felt uncomfortable in whatever environment and no matter how racist they were. I suppose white people just don't feel racism as much as other ethnic groups.
The Man Who Sold The World - "Years and years I roamed ,I gazed a gazely stare, At all The millions here. I must have died alone, A long long time ago.
Who knows, not me, I never lost control, You’re face, to face, With the man who sold the world". A nihilistic song, that reminds me of my crazier days.
The close contenders were Modern Love, Putting Out The Fire With Gasoline, Ziggy Stardust, Day In, Day Out and Jump, They Say.
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