Excesses Of The Heart

Yesterdays P&L: GBP -90.00

Yesterdays Booze: 5 pints of lager, 4 pints of Aspinall Cider

Today's Soundtrack: The Stones / Mick Jagger

"Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall"
Measure for measure 2.1.42

So as expected the US data was pony, (pony and trap = crap, for any non-London readers). I knew this would be the case, but still failed to make any money because The Dow inexplicably rose on the news, before returning to rationale thought and selling off. There was then a mad spike at the end of the trading day, I should have remembered that trading on the last day of the month, before a US holiday, always involves the office workers doing "window dressing" for their accounts. Maybe next week will be better, Monday is bound to be dead as the UK traders often turn into Victorian maids without US traders to follow. The main problem for me is that it is shockingly clear by now how little knowledge was gained in the recent credit crunch. Bankers are being paid more than ever, interest rates remain at all time lows and the banks now follow a strategy of becoming too big to fail, witness Santander who have clearly decided being the European equivalent of Citicorp is the only way to guarantee government support. The Volcker plan is a joke and on Friday Morgan Stanley announced plans to hire upto five hundred bankers to sell "jumbo mortgages" and structured deals to clients, even though when Lehman collapsed it was generally acknowledged that the merging of investment and retail banking was a bad idea all round and that structured finance was the villain of the piece.

I have other concerns to worry about, the Stalker is back in town and demanding to see me - her strategy is to ignore my bad behaviour. The thing is just having her roaming around, (she has a key to my place), makes me feel uncomfortable. I make a special effort not to drink in front of her. Not because I am a pussy but because of the amount of distress it causes her. It is exactly the same when my mother is in the country. The Stalker is a remarkable woman but she and I have very little in common, (apart from both of us loving me). She does have a habit of making me feel guilty, and then failing to see why I resent her. Just because she chose to embrace responsibility, that's not my fault. She should know by now I am the opposite. I have avoided responsibility all my life. My experience with women, and I don't know if other men have found this, is that you can't shake them until they find some other guy - then its like you never existed. The Lunatic is just like that whenever I am plagued with e-mails from her, I know she is single, when I don't hear from her then she must be in a relationship. I sort of wish the Stalker would give someone else a go. Her and I cannot keep picking at the same wounds.

Yesterday I was listening to more Stones and Jagger solo stuff. The top five songs I listened to:

Almost Hear You Sigh - From Steel Wheels, a much underrated album, in my opinion. It is the album that kicked in the modern, corporate age of the Rolling Stones. This song is so smooth and slick but also has a lot of emotion. "What'll I do without you, They say that life goes on. I'm feeling sorry for myself, can't believe your gone". the flamenco style guitar break from Keith is unexpected. He is a great blues guitarist but no Clapton or Page.

Just Another Night - From She's The Boss, It could be a Stones song and really reminds me of Missing You. Mick Jagger wants to be regarded as a solo star so much, Like McCartney or Lennon. To me the Stones don't really function individually and its all based around Jagger, Richards and Charlie Watts. This is a great song, though and reminds me mostly of watching Live Aid on a ship of the West African coast. "I'm a stranger in this town, Can't I have my ups and downs. Can't you see that I'm human"?

Brown Sugar - Possibly the most politically incorrect song in the world. I have had few black girlfriends but quite a lot of Asian and Latin women. My brother used to think it was sexual imperialism, not at all, I don't see much difference between Asian women or English women, its just the type of girl that physically appeals to me is dark. No one makes the same assumptions about men who are attracted to Scandinavian type blonde's.

How Can I Stop - This song is an obvious choice for someone like me, "You offer me all your love and sympathy, Sweet affection baby, It's killing me". I am not as whiny as I seem though in real life, whilst I have a flair for the dramatic I am not a person who appears troubled - although most seasoned bar tenders know that someone that drinks a bottle of vodka at ten am probably has some issues. "How could I stop once I start", more importantly why would I stop? If I am going to be half a man, then I would rather take my chances.

Lonely At The Top - A great song about ambition. I only really think about things from the male perspective but I am sure women have the same dreams and ambitions that men do. This song says it all out of Sunset Boulevard to the Academy awards.


In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!