Yesterdays P&L: 0.00
Yestedays Booze: 1ltr Absolut Blue Vodka, 5 x 500ml Stella Artois, 4 x Large Gordons Gin & Tonic.

Well today is my birthday, I made it through another year! I am now 38, but depressingly am back where I started when I was 16, although with many gray hairs and a lot more scar tissue. I don't really know what to do on birthdays, apart from drink myself into oblivion. I never really enjoyed sharing the day with other people. All they want to do is make you happy but for me it is a day when I reflect on the things I should have done, but didn't and the oportunities I should have taken, but failed to do so. It has been like this for most of my life, obviously when you are a child it is different, my parents used to make every effort to make sure I had a good time and if we were travelling in a Catholic country, (which was often), Iwould believe that the Epiphany celebrations were in some way aimed at me.

As part of my current morbid thoughts, I wonder how many more birthdays I am going to have, last night I was watching / listening to quite a lot of music, (the soundtrack to my suffering today is mainly The KLF and assorted 80's pop and rock). I was listening to a lot of Elvis, (yesterday was his birthday), he would have been 73! When I rejected having my right ankle and lower leg rebuilt because they wanted me to stay in hospital for at least 6 months, the nurse putting the plaster on my leg said I would be sorry when I was older because I would be in severe pain, I was a little disturbed by the doctor who just sort of smirked and said he didn't think I would have to worry about getting too much older - what kind of quack is that? Surely their must be some sort of ethical code concerning joking about your patients mortality.

Anyway, I shall be spending the day in quite reflection and extreme stupor. There is no better way to feel sorry for yourself than with good booze and sad songs. I have already had contact from four former girlfriends, I wonder why. I am fairly confident I was the worst boyfriend any of these girls ever had and yet they can't seem to stop checking up on me, actually it is quite useful because they live in different time zones, so I get a sort of rolling international date line Happy Birthday, although it runs dry when we get to European time, (I really should make more of an effort with the local girls)!

At least the markets should be back to normal tomorrow, although Fridays rubbish US data might cause a bit of a sell off, I can't shake this feeling that this year we are going to see some serious economic problems in the world, I think it was always going to come but Bush, Paulson and Bernanke have done no good by bailing out the financial sector.