Wow, just got a call from my younger brother, he scolded me for my manic drinking yesterday and said he can tell on the phone I am drunk now. he said he will give me some cash to trade with or drink myself to death or whatever, just to go away. I love my brother more than anything else and I have dissapointed him. Looks like I have finally driven everyone away from me. I am finding this hard to take right now but I hope he really knows what he is saying because while I am hurt now, in a couple of days I will be over it.
I knew this was going to end this way , I didn't expect him to abandon me. I have always been able to count on him None of the women mattered or even my parents but he was always my last resort. Even so I had planned on being far away from him when I died.
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Dear Tony,
You need to stop this now- it's bad for you. Take control of the drinking again as you have already done in the past and go and talk to someone professional about how you feel. It is the way forward. You need to find a new strategy to use to deal with life to get the things you want- one of which is affection. There is no shame in that- we all need and want it.
I apologise for the hectoring tone but you need to do something different.
Take good care of yourself.
Really sorry to hear that, it sounds like a million and one conversations I've had with my mum :-(
As usual I can't think of anything remotely helpful or profound to say, but you said to just leave a comment next time I was lurking, so here I am :-)
Massively sorry to hear about all the horrible stuff that's going on with you, big hug,
J x
Anonymous, I can't stop this any more. My life has spiralled out of control and I am just along for the ride, anyway I have got to know if this is all there is. Don't worry about sounding terse with me, believe me I have had worse. Whilst I love that you are concerned there is no way on Earth I would ever seek psychological help, just relax and check in every now and again - lets see how long this thing can last. I have been in the hospital with the other drunks now and I know thatg I am not going out like they do. Ghosts of men, When the time is right I will go in a big way and that will be the end of my diary. I am sorry if you can't watch my self-destruction but like I say sooner or later I chase everyone away.
juliette, you have had experience with people like me so I respect your opinion, I hope I am nothing like your mother, who to be frank sounds quite awful - sorry if I offend you. My brother is just dissapointed because the doctor gave me some good news and the first thing I did was try and kill myself. He doesn't understand because he is essentially a very happy person.
I can understand your brother's frustration (which comes from love). And I'm sorry that you've given up - sounds to me like you want to die because you don't feel like you deserve to live.
No advice from me Toni - you know what you're doing x
Thanks Kitty you understand this isn't a plea for help this is willful action.
Dear Tony,
It's ok- you won't chase me away. My boyfriend had a drink problem and my Dad is from Glasgow so I've seen a bit of it before ( sorry Glasgow!) I just hope you are ok and do what is best for you.
I am sending you lots of good wishes,
Anon
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