Neon Lonliness

Yesterdayss P&L: GBP 210.00

Yesterdays Booze: 1 750cl bottle of Vodka, 12 Talisker Whiskey

Yesterdays Soundtrack: Not much as I was out most of the day.

So the Stalker called me again, mind you it was two am and her primary interest was finding out if I was screwing, my doctor, which I am not but have been vocal in how good she is. The doc is unhappy with some of the diagnosis given to me by the hospital, however she readily admits she knows little about liver disease. Anyway she is very supportive and I guess I do have a little bit of a crush on her. I also had to endure a two hour call from my mother, which she can't afford and it all made me realise that no matter how tough I think I am, I am absolutely starved for affection. Luckily The Stalker cured me of this by threatening to kill me if she ever saw me lose it the way I did the other day. I am not scared off her in the slightest, She is a black belt in Karate and a gold belt in some Indonesian martial art, but I have already taken a few blows from her and laughed it off. If it was the Lunatic, I would be heading for the airport.

Anyway I got into a brawl in Windsor, I don't understand quite why this happened as I haven't had a dust-up in years. Most people know enough to avoid someone like me. So I took a few punches, and considering my osteonecrosis, seems one of my ribs is broken, luckily it wasn't over my liver but it is over my spleen and pancreas. I am not going to bother going to the hospital because in my limited experience, (I have only broken my ribs a few times), there is little they can do and to be honest. I am just sick of hospitals - I have spent most of the first half of this year in one hospital or another.

Not sure what to do about my mother, she keeps sending me food packages from Waitrose and if she finds out I am back on the hard stuff she will be heartbroken. My father says I am making his life impossible as all my mother does is mope around worrying about me. I know she feels guilty about what happened to me as a child on her watch, but none of this new shit is her fault. Maybe its true what they say about a mothers love but I still don't see it - I have hardly been a good son.

Just scalped a few points trading yesterday all on the FTSE 100 contract.


In case I don't see 'ya...good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!