Wednesday 2 June 2010

The suffering, the sweet, sweet suffering

You know, its four thirty am in the morning here and I can't sleep because of the pain in my legs. Whats the answer I need to drink to numb the pain but if I do, I am going to die that much quicker.

Any advice?

9 comments:

Mary Jane said...

I am so sorry to hear that you are ill again. It really saddens me when I read about it on your blog. I wish there was something I could do to help you with your pain.

Toni said...

Thanks MJ, nothing to be done I am afraid. This isn't the infection that had the skin grafts although the massive loss of tissue has weakened that leg. This is the pain caused by the multiple fractures of my ankles and knees. I should be used to it by now, butwithout the booze it hurts like hell.

Kim Tham said...

Someone once said to me, it's not difficult to die but it's difficult to die with pride but with pride you die with a memory in others mind...
You have 2 choice die with not leaving a memory for others to hold onto or die knowing you'll be in someones thought for the rest of their lives

Unknown said...

Toni, I don't have any brilliant advice. I really wish I did. And I really hope you're feeling at least little better today.

Much love,
xoxo

Toni said...

Thanjs for the kind words ladies, Lesinfin as usualyour sweet thoughts ease the pain for a little while. Kim, I don't know what the pain you and the stalker went through felt like, although she told me chemo is no walk in the park. For me, this Osteoecrosis is just about as bad as it gets, I weigh about one hundred kilos and I have no choice but to put it through my ankles. The doctor said if you can take the pain your better off and don't be fooled by any private clinics offering you mircle surgeries, your right ankle is beyond repair and your left ankle and knee not far behind.

Miss OverThinker said...

I really hope you feel better soon..

Kim Tham said...

Hey I am sure Osteoecrosis is no walk in the park, which medical treatment in this world is?
During chemo and all the treatments i have done i learnt that finding a happy place (as hard as it is) works...that and idiot friends that say stupid things to keep you going...its true what the doctor said...hack the pain out...i am on 68 meds a day and this will be forever but looking on the bright side i am still here and still kicking and i get to wake up every morning knowing deep down i fought and to be honest that the most important thing in life...knowing you fought...

Little Miss Angry said...

ouch. i just saw this. somehow when i read your blog everything i'm going through just kinda looks tiny in comparison.

feel better soon. even if just a little. *big hug*

Martin Meenagh said...

You are in my prayers, for what that is worth